Did you ever have a time....

Did you ever have a time when you thought, "This isn't happening. This is too surreal to be actually going on around me, in me (whatever the situation may be). I can't actually be considering these things. I can't actually have just done that."??

I have a friend who has become an addict, of sorts. ;) (In-recovery joke.) She has been exercising her butt off.... Seriously, Mer, like, where's your butt? LOL I'm kidding, of course.

But there's got to have been a moment where she thought, "Holy crap, this FitLinxx thing says I lifted 3 elephants this week. For real! Over time, my circuit training efforts mean I lifted that many elephants?" (I mean, with this YMCA FitLixx thing, you can even count walking from the parking lot to the grocery store!) Anyway, I digress...as usual.

So, anyway, I'm waking up, trying to go through my day, not thinking about my addiction in the sense that I am not trying to figure out how I can sneak around and get my 'fix,' but like, "HOLY! I'm through with it! Done. Finito. Wow. REALLY? Like, no, really?" And I smile. Really big. I laugh out loud. Even in this mental and sometimes physical pain, I just want to thank God that I'm done. I'm out of the closet. (No, I'm not gay.)

And I've realized what my new addiction is going to be. I mean, some Dr.s have told me that I need to do this and that and be hospitalized and blah, and blah, and blah. God's bigger than that. I was never opposed to doing what I needed to do, if I needed to do it, but I haven't needed all that Dr. supervision. (Funny word: Super. Vision. Like, Superman? For real?) Anyway, God's been enough. Watching my back. And my family and friends, and prayer and, of course, Tommy and sleep and my new addiction...which really isn't new because I had it before.

It's lame, nothing interesting, I know...but it's music. And I have to say, the clean version of this song, and the chorus especially, LOSE YOURSELF is THE most inspiring song for me right now. Eminem may not be some clean-cut Christian, but he is honest and you know what? I admire him. He's more open and real than a lot of people I know. So slander me. *Shudder* Big whoop.

I forgot how much I love music. Acting like a rock star in the car, in front of the mirror (OK, maybe I'm sharing too much.... *snort* ME sharing too much. *laughs*) and just being the biggest moron and pretending I'm the bomb.

Don't lie. You know you've done it, too.

However, there is one thing that is missing. HUGE problem: I've never learned how to cope with stress or conflict. I am the epitome of 'fight or flight.' For the last 8-some-odd years I've been flighting...flighty is more like it. Before that, I was a fighter. Not a good one. A mean one.

Seriously, anyone who knows me...really knows me...knows I am not non-confrontational (unless I have a horrible addiction to fall back on and couldn't give a rip and didn't have energy to fight back anyway). However, when I am backed into a corner, I do not come out with my fists up or say, "OK, you're right. I'm being irrational." (Although, I am capable of that rationality, it takes WAAAAY too much effort for me.)

So, if I'm not a pretty tame 'fists up, ready to fight,' what am I when I'm backed into a corner? I am thinking...this: You asked for it. And I was taught this. Through pain and heartbreak and lies and blah, blah, blah, blittity, blah.

So I called up a shrink today and said, "I have no coping mechanisms. The only coping mechanism I've had for about 8 years is gone. I don't want that to ever come back. However, I don't know the balance between fight or flight. I either roll over and play dead or...well, become your worst psychopathic, belittling nightmare. (You think I'm kidding?) And I hate it. I need help. Celebrate Recovery will help me with certain things, but the psychological things...I need help, Doc." So, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow at 5pm.

He's actually excited for me. I can't truly understand why. Pretty cool doctor, I guess.

Anyway. That's all for now.

OH, please pray that I can get some more painting done. I just don't have the energy and these headaches are killing me and things are strained (no big surprise here) between Tommy and me. I still have two full paintings to go and the lady asked for them by mid-August. I'm going to have to trust my instinct and JUST FREAKIN' PAINT.

Humble Beginnings and an Anniversary

Welp, I have set up a small workspace in the corner of our kitchen. You may think, "That's not much to look at," and you'd be quite right to have that thought. However, as much as I would love to have a room where I could paint anything on the walls, decorate it with inspiring words, drawings, clippings, etc., this is what will have to do for now.

It's my Creative Corner

I will say this about my fabulous, supportive husband (whom I am celebrating our 5th Anniversary with today). We have a spare bedroom that doesn't get used for anything but storage. It's really too small to put our old queen size bed in there, so if company did stay over, they'd have one twin bed and a blow-up mattress to put on the floor. That being said, we have left room for our old kitchen table, a chair, a small 11" t.v. we never use (which is sitting on an ancient, laminated wood, rolling t.v. stand...seriously, I think this was from when I was a kid in the 70's. I'm sure of it.)

So anyway, my husband has said several times that he would love for me to use that spare bedroom (I'm sure that having my arts and crafts spread all over the house has nothing to do with the generosity, of course). I have talked about painting it a pale lavender, hanging little pixies made of paper, felt, beading, and wire from little swings I'd fashion to the ceiling. Kind of like a hanging mobile, but with little girl and boy fairies. Like this one I found online:

Each time I have a hair-brained scheme like that, he has supported me 100%. Of course, though, all this takes time. And money.

Now, I'm sure that it wouldn't be expensive to paint the room, just time-consuming, and then it would even be cute as-is. It's just...I haven't done it yet.

My first order of business will be to paint a reproduction of this original I painted a few months ago. The one below is 16x20 and my mom wants a much larger one to hang in her main room. I think it's 30x24 or something.

This one is being sold on etsy.com as we speak. I don't know if it will sell for my asking price, but I didn't think the Owl in the Sky With Diamonds would sell for what it did, either. There's always hope.

Here is a couple of close-ups of this painting. I was really happy with the way it turned out, considering I used acrylic paints. I put the paint on so thick that I had to use a hair dryer on the background before I could continue with the flowers. I didn't know that heat would make the paint bubble, so there are some cool textures you don't usually get with acrylics.

So, there's that.

LIQUOR...I hardly even...oh, whatever.

So, here we are again. At the end of another creation. Obsessing over whether it's good enough, if the 'client' (Oh my gosh, I have a client!) will be so pleased that she'll pee her pants do a little dance, asking myself why I put these things off until I have to do them to remain a good seller.

In the end, I am happy with the result of my first attempt to paint on a tiny little glass. I know it could always be better, but let's face it, I'm not making a living on this...yet.

I am going to do some research on how to get the paint to go on a little more smoothly (smoother?). It may just be that I need better paints. Right now I'm working with the cheapest paints I could find...with the best brushes. It probably evens out somehow.

So, here's the shot glass. I will finish the wine glass tomorrow.

I was only using the quarter dollar, quarter, two bits, Johnson Sandwich (I still don't understand why it was called this since LBJ was never ON a quarter) for a size reference, but my husband pointed out, "Because she'll be playing Quarters with this glass." Ha ha. Funny. I wanted to use a bottle of fiery pink fingernail polish called 'Scarlet' by SinfulColors...hmmm.... Maybe we're both in the wrong. Typical.

Anyway. It was cool making it. Now on to the wine glass.... I have asked myself whether or not I should be painting glasses that will inevitably hold liquor or wine (or booze in general). I am not for or against drinking alcoholic beverages unless you are a) underage, b) don't know when to quit, or c) causing someone else to stumble (i.e. you have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and you bust out a bottle of wine around him...not cool).

I'm serious. Don't be a jerk. Drink responsibly.

Learning As An Artist

Ten stupid things that beginner artist do:

1. Spend way too much time thinking about what to draw.
2. Spend way too much energy wanting to draw something perfect.
3. Spend way too much research on supplies you 'might' need.
4. Spend way too much money on those supplies you don't need. (But they are SOOOO cool!)
5. Not going dumpster diving before buying expensive media.
6. Trying to figure out what your medium will look like.
7. Trying to remember what 'media' and 'medium' mean and feeling like a poser because you keep getting those words mixed up.
8. Not realizing that you can use anything as a media for your art.
9. Forgetting to look around your house for things you already bought before going to buy more.
10. Not putting yourself out there.

So, yeah. I have done, or not done, all of these things. I have been addicted to gel pens, Mod Podge, went and bought more supplies before finding a treasure trove of stuff in a box, in a drawer, under some clothes, on top of my assortment of pliers.

I have drooled over rolls of duck canvas at MisterArts and fantasized about painting on old artifacts I find on eBay, when I could just use the plywood in my garage. (Right now, I'm obsessing about finding double hung, single pane, distressed wood frame windows to paint on. If you know of anyone or a place that has them-preferably, for free-then please let me know.)

Trodding on to other things I've become obsessed enamored with, let us add Vitamin Water. I love, love this stuff. I just found it...and yes, I know (now) that Jennifer Aniston and Kelly Clarkson have been advertising this stuff for years.

Way back when this deliciously low-sugar vitamin drink began popping up in celebrity hands, I thought it was just hype. I thought that it was just another way for actors to push the "Green Scream" and be cool. Yet, last week, I was fatigued and sore from working out, so I grabbed the Revive Vitamin Water and thought, "Oh, dang. This stuff is good." I don't know if it was the placebo phenom or if there are actually enough B vitamins in that product to give a person a boost, but I felt better after drinking it.

However, after almost two weeks of spending $1.50 on these things, I realized that they really aren't anything more than glorified soft drinks.

They still have 13 grams of sugar in them (except they call it crystalline fructose) and all these vitamins are something we get if we are eating every day anyway...which, most of us are.

It tastes good, but I think that I got punk'd.

I can't keep up!

*Foreword: Those of you that receive automatic e-mail updates saying a new blog has been posted, you may not be able to see when there is a video attachment or a picture embedded in the blog. To see all content, you may need to come directly to the blog site Did I just say that? That is all, thank you. (OH, WAR EAGLE!)

So, things have been absolutely wonderful lately. Ham is just getting cuter and more entertaining (if that is possible). She plays really well by herself, but I find myself looking for excuses to watch her all day instead of doing housework or run errands. I have the heart of an organized person, and none of the skills I desperately long for to be a clone of Martha Stewart-ness. (I do not want to be Martha Stewart, however.)

I have had another order for glasses. YAY! A girl from etsy.com wants me to do a wine glass and shot glass with the pink owl on it and Chi Omega written in black on the opposite side. I'm working on that today.

Also, I have now gone to the infamous Sips-n-Strokes twice in one month. The second time we went to the Vestavia location and the painting was really difficult and took a lot of time. We also ended up moving our table halfway through the lesson because...well...because of the 'sipping' part of SipsnStrokes, some ladies get WAY too loud. So, for the second half of the night, we couldn't see what the instructor was doing at all. We were pretty frustrated. Regardless, this is how ours turned out:

This is mine:

This is my friend, Mer's:

This is what the instructor's original looked like:

We will probably stick with the Highway 280 store because we had a great experience there.

So, as you can see, no one painting is going to turn out exactly the same. I decided I wanted some blue in my background instead of all brown and white, while Meredith followed the instructor at first, she then decided she didn't want a lot of black in the background and it turned out really cool and sorta abstract. Mine is more realism...which, I wish I could get out of that stage. I'd love to do some abstract and even cartoonish-style stuff.

Anyway, here is the finish product of the wine glasses I did for my friend Ashley's Bachelorette Party two weekends ago:



That was a lot of fun and it definitely opened up some doors. However, painting glass is a lot harder than I thought it would be! I'm glad for the experience.

BTW, Ham heard a bird outside this morning and she cupped her little hand around her ear to sign 'hear.' SOOOO cute!

No teeth yet. LOL

Selling more art

I love that my friends now know that I am back into art. For some, it's the first time they know I paint or draw. I am getting a lot of, "I didn't know you were an artist!" and I must say, there is still a twinge of guilt.

I am far from that man in the Bible who went to his master and said, "Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours." No, at least this man admitted to burying his talent. Parable of the Talents

Even though he was still punished, the message I see in my case, is that I didn't even want to tell anyone that I had a buried talent! If it's hidden, no one can hold me accountable.

So, now that it's in the light (and I'm so thankful and excited about that), a friend asked me if she could pay me to paint 12 stemless wine glasses for a bachelorette party in a few weeks.

Here is my rough draft:

For this, I actually used Sakura Gelly Roll pens. I wanted to get a good idea of what it would look like and what I was aiming for with this. I don't know if I'll do the first initial of each bridesmaid or what. My friend has to OK this design. However, I am generally pleased with my first attempt. Now let's see if we can do it with enamel paints and a tiny paintbrush! I also have to write an actual saying on the glass.

This has led me to list the item (as an example) on Etsy.com and try my hand at painting glass on commission. If it gets too crazy and I get orders I can't fill, I'll just stop doing it.

I also uploaded my painting of the peacock I was working on for weeks. For your sake, I'll just put a picture of it up, here:

However, it is on sale at Etsy.com. Feel free to check it out. I also have a semi-precious bracelet I made for sale.

On a different note, same vein, my awesome sister-in-law and her husband have put up a shop on Etsy, too. They had been thinking about doing it for a while now. It's called thesmallwoods and they sell Mr. Fox Brand products. TOO cute. Here's a sampling: He is a handmade, embroidered felt plush original based on Mr. Hoot Hoot of TheSmallWoods world. Isn't he adorable? He comes in different colors, too!

That's all for now, in my world.

I'm an artist...it's OFFICIAL!

Ha! What do you do when after more than 20 years of drawing, coloring, sketching, and painting, you sell a painting the second time you try?

Apparently, you go bananas! At least, that's what I did.

I had written here that I put a piece of artwork up for sale on Etsy.com on August 12th. It sold today! For $75! To someone in California! SOOOOOO cool!

I am so shocked. I really didn't think that it would ever sell. Or at least, I thought it would be up for sale for so long that I would forget I listed it and then someone would buy it in a few years and I'd be like, "What in the world? When did I do that? And more importantly, I hope I didn't throw that away!"

I can't believe that this was only up for 13 days. That's less than two weeks. I just can't believe it. I guess I have to stop lying to myself now and put myself out there more.

I don't know what to do with this information. It makes me want to create more art. Not necessarily to sell, although I will continue to try, but just because it makes me happy.

Too many candles burning

So, when you are an 'artist,' it is completely possible to have too many things going at once and never finish a thing. I am one of those people. I have many lofty goals...scrapbooking, cameo making, painting, stamping, jewelry antiquing, mural painting, and printmaking...to name a few.

I have never enjoyed my ADD when it comes to getting things organized. I go from one project to another without completing my first goal.

For instance. You know the Owl in the Sky with Diamonds? Well, it is supposed to be the first in a series of paintings. I was going to do another painting that features the little purple house that is in the background of the owl piece. I was going to paint the outside of the house and 'tell' the story of who lives there...a ninja panda trying to learn the art of throwing stars (cliche, maybe). Then I was going to go inside the house and paint what the inside looks like (complete with the owl tree in the background, of course).

Have I even started on the next painting? No. Instead, I got intrigued by trying to paint a peacock (not an easy task) and that has taken WEEKS.

Then, I found this rubber pad and cutting tools that I had gotten a few months back and began my first attempt at making a stamp...totally forgetting about the painting projects.

Does anyone else do this?

W/out our Internet for a week!

Ok, so it's been too long since I've written. I hate when I go this long because then you feel like you have to cover everything to play catch-up. I'm not going to do that. I'll just tell you some basics and then get on with it.

I have created two new pieces of art. One of which is Here:

I created an etsy.com account McTigerlily and am going to list this piece at a rather high price because, let's face it, when we create something we like, most of the time, we don't want it to sell. Perhaps I should be embarrassed for the price. However, I will say that I used some rather 'different,' luxurious materials to make it more interesting.

The stars are made out of Aurora Borealis Swarovski crystals and the eggs are six white freshwater pearls. I even calculated how much those embellishments would cost on their own and it was around $10. So, add a few dollars for the vintage wooden knobs for apples and the labor of love and I think $60ish isn't that bad of a price. However, it's only like, 7x6." It may sell one day, it may not. That's OK.

I've been doing some really fun stuff, creatively. I have made a few stamps. One is a little bird sitting on a vine and the other is my signature faerie that I've been drawing since I was 13 years-old. I'll have to post pictures of those later because our Internet is down and I'm having to use a wireless connection and I can't get on my computer to download the images.

That's been rough. It sucks to be looking at your computer, thinking of all the places you want to surf and all the important things you want to do like playing free poker advancing your career as an artist and not be able to do anything about it at the moment.

It's amazing how much we rely on the Internet(s) these days. We've tapped into an unsecured wireless connection from a neighbor (not illegal, btw...I don't think) and it's a pretty weak signal, but strong enough to get online every now and then. I find myself looking at the bars saying, "Come on, baby. Come on. YES!! Three bars! Connect, connect!" Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

On a different note, Ham is teething. I really, really, think she's teething this time. LOL. She has been chewing on things since she was 3 months old and we have had some false alarms, but now she really does have ALL the signs. She is drooling like CRAZY. I'm not talking a little spit on a block she's devouring, OH NO! I'm talking, when she's crawling from Point A to Point B, drool pours out of her mouth. She seems pretty surprised by it sometimes. That's the price of teething a little later than most babies.

Another thing is that this morning she began sneezing a lot. Her nose is runny (oh joy) and that is another sign. The last sign is not so lovely...as if the others are.... It's the other runny end that is getting to me.

BTW, why is it like that? I mean, the kid is going to be in at least some discomfort already with the teeth busting through tender gums, so why do we now have to treat chaffed skin on her butt, nose, and chin because of all the runny, sloppy, icky stuff that comes along with teething? Poor girl.

Welp, I have a lot to blog, but I'll start another post later. I don't want this one to be too random.

Entering into a new world

I am not an exhibitionist. That may sound weird, but I mean it. I am a pretty closed off person. I can play the extrovert, but inside, I'm usually dying. Slowly crumbling and wanting to run. I used to not even be able to look people in the eye.

So why am I putting my artwork, my very soul, out there for others to see? Well, because I love art and my passion has always been to be a part of an art community.

I began thinking about starting an art circle about two months ago. I saw a group called Greyhaven play at Work Play and their idea really took root. To check them out, go to Greyhaven to see more about them. It's a group of bands that meet, write songs, and play together. Very cool.

I thought that getting together about 15-20 close friends that love to draw, paint, sculpt, doodle, write, scrapbook, etc. would be a great experience. I wanted to learn from other artists and also be able to sit down and create with others. I thought that once a year, we could put on a show and sell our art for a good cause.

While expressing this to my husband, he reminded me that his sister (belongs to Greyhaven) is also a part of The Birmingham Art Collective. This is a group for any Birmingham artist who wants to get together with other artists...be it photographers, writers, fine arts, designers, etc. I had forgotten about this group!

So, long story short, on July 3rd, my work will be put up for exhibition at The Bottle Tree for one month. I am one of 30 artists being featured. The show starts at 7PM with DJ Coco and bands will begin playing at 9PM. My sister-in-law and her husband will be performing at 10PM in their band called Handwritten Letters.

Here is the piece chosen to be put on exhibit. All art is for sale and there is a $5 cover charge at the door which will wholly go to Greencup Books.

"Still Shy" Oil Pastel on Canvas

This was not their (or my) first choice, but it turns out it is perfect for my first art show in 16 years. I am 'still shy' in some respects and it pangs me to think this art will be criticized critiqued (as artists so deceptively put it).

The first choice was this pencil drawing. And although I do like the way it turned out, I put a bid in for a more colorful piece so that it would show up better. I think this would have gotten lost among the other stimuli.

It's called "Still Thinking."

The piece that I originally wanted to display was "Sisters." It is oil pastel on paper. I did this in 1997 for my sister's birthday. She has always championed my artwork and has gone so far as to confiscate artwork of mine and frame it for her own home.

Her house holds several pieces, including five plates that I painted with her children's favorite book covers on them. Here is "Sisters."

So, as I jump on this bandwagon, I am excited and scared. I know this is what my heart desires. However, I am a little overwhelmed. With a psychotically active busy baby and no organization skills, I wonder if this will be feasible. I guess it's time to grow up. I've read that those who say they "can't," never will. I won't say I can't. I will just say, Lord help me.