Festivus...for the rest of us (aka July 4th)

Ok, my husband's uncle Anthony is a little nuts. He's also really cool. When it comes to parties, he knows how to throw a HUGE one. It's all for the kids (yeah, right).

Well, a few years ago, Anthony (we don't call him 'uncle' because he is only a few years older than us) made July 4th, Festivus For the Rest of Us. His kids actually have shirts that say, Festivus. We're big Seinfield fans...and big dorks. It started out fairly tame with pretty good fireworks, great food, pool activities, Anthony's Cosmos, and all around good fun.

This year, he had a 17' blow-up water slide and one of those Test Your Strength thingys in the driveway, a popcorn, snow cone, and cotton candy machine, beanbag toss, horseshoes, lawn darts, badminton, volleyball, pool floats galore, and general debauchery...oh and fireworks a few things that popped and sparkled (including a $0.67 hen that shot tiny sparks out it's...you know). It was in-sane. And so much fun! (BTW, no one got drunk off their gourd or anything. No one there really finds that fun.)

Ham was...a mess. She slept for about 30 minutes the entire day. No, it didn't have anything to do with the cotton candy, brownie, or massive amounts of watermelon. She only got a little piece of cotton candy and got to lick the cone when I ate the rest (Haha! I love the stuff.), but I'm sure that didn't help. Bad mom, right, right.

I should have known it was going to be an off day. My sister just says to plan for the worse on days I know naps are going to be hard and then I'll be pleasantly surprised if things go better than expected. She's full of good advice like that.

Ham woke up at the ungodly hour of 6AM. Do kids know when we are going to be out all day and need to sleep and then just plan this stuff? She usually sleeps until 8:30-9, God bless her. I put her down for her nap at 11AM and 15 minutes into her nap, the lawnmower woke her. Hubby felt awful. I'm sure it didn't help that I came out on the porch with my hands waving over my head, sweetly asking yelling like a mad woman, asking if he was crazy to mow right near her room while she was napping. By then, however, she was screaming and I knew it was over.

Then, the only way I could get her to nap at Festivus was to put her in the car and drive around for a bit...all the while grumbling about gas prices. She was quietly napping with the air conditioning full blast and I had made my brilliant exit from the car without waking her up. Nonetheless, my genius (and often right) husband comes over and says that the car engine might blow if it's left running in the heat for too long. I was ticked. I began arguing with him beside the car and out of pure frustration stupidity, I said, "Fine! I'll just go drive around again!" and opened the door, only to see my precious lamb jump at the sound of the automatic seat belt. And instead of waiting to see if she was really awake, I quickly slammed the door back and said, "Great, now she's awake!" (As if it was husband's fault.) By then, Ham really was awake...she probably would have gone back to sleep if I had not slammed the door...and that was that. She didn't sleep again until 10PM that night. Bad mom. For real. Amazingly, she was OK and slept great that night. Thank God kids are resilient.

One of the best parts of Festivus is that my mom, sister, her husband and her kids all came over to the dark side Anthony's house. They had a blast. My nephew hardly spoke two words, he was so mezmorized with everything and my two-year-old neice developed a crush on hubby's four-year-old cousin. It was adorable. It was so great to have them there.

HAPPY 4th OF JULY...I mean, Festivus For the Rest of Us!