"Wordless" Wednesday is Back!



Happy Baby smiling for the camera

  

Big Girl holding her sippy cup and eating all by herself!

Ham 'taking a spin' with Momma on Uncle Bud's motorcycle

Taking a different kind of spin.

TWIRLY SKIRTS ARE AWESOME!

Smooshy loves her cousin and Aunt Jen

Momma, I'm so funny!

Drooling like a Rancor about to get its next meal

TA DA!

Introducing......

SMOOSHY

Make sure you at least watch minutes 2:00 and 3:00

When I began really getting to know Ham, I honestly thought I could never have a child more dramatic than her.

Then I met Smooshy on Novemeber 30th, 2010 (she even made her entrance a little early). She is about the most social, in-your-face baby I have ever met. I love it. And...sometimes I am almost sure that I am going to sell her to some Norwegian gypsies...if any ever come this way.

Of course, I may have chosen Norwegian gypsies so that I know I won't ever sell Smooshy, because let's face it...she's just so darn cute!

Sometimes she just busts out in a dance like she hears music playing in her head. I don't know WHERE she learned to dance like this, but this child already knows how to move.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

I just had to make a quick journal entry about Ham's new dainty ways. (Side note: I will not say "girly" to describe dainty behavior after reading the definition of girly, which says, "Weak, timid, or effeminate. Used of men.") No...don't like that much.

So, Ham is dainty...yet unbelievably tough. People often look at me with surprised loathing when Ham sprawls out after tripping over something (usually her own feet...much like her momma) and I barely bat an eyelash. She's just too much rough and tumble for me to react to every little stumble or fall. I'm not mean, I just know her.

So, indication #1 that she is becoming more dainty: She is now into bows. She likes to carry them around and she won't take them out of her hair if we put them there. (A big IF, because I usually don't think to accessorize her, although I do think it's adorable.)

The true test of daintiness (def: Delicately beautiful or charming; squeamish), came this morning when I was not paying much attention to Ham. I knew she was looking out of the window waiting for the neighbor's cat to make his appearance, so I didn't think much of it when she started whining as if to complain. I thought, "OK, she sees something she wants, but can't get to it. Or Tux (the cat) hasn't shown up yet." (I usually ignore whining unless she says, "Momma" and then signs 'help.') The whining soon increased and became more of a whimper. Before I thought to look, she began a pitiful sob and I could tell she was in some sort of pain.

I walked over to her (I try not to react 'violently' to her possibly, already painful, circumstances) and asked, "What is it, baby?" She stood there with tears running down her face, clutching a ball in one hand, whimpering and sobbing as if frozen with fear. Since she was standing in between the kitchen table and the window, I thought, "Oh my gosh, she really hurt herself." I thought maybe she banged her head on the table or something. I even scanned her free hand, now frozen with shock against the window, to make sure she hadn't gotten it stuck somehow.

I looked around and it only took a second to find the source of her horror.... A light brown, inch-sized cockroach. Still living, although barely moving, twitching its disgusting, whiplike antennae toward my baby girl.

For some reason, I began to mimic her horror and took great offense to this parasite...Ok, technically, it's not a parasite. I rushed to her aid with a paper towel that just so happened, thankfully, to be on the kitchen table and crushed the intruder. Ham looked up at me with almost as much horror as the roach's appearance had etched across her face. I almost felt bad for the little bugger...hahaha...the roach...bug.

I went against my usual compassion for anything living and did not feel bad for killing the nasty pest, but instead, said to Ham, "It's OK Baby, Momma got it. It's gone. It went 'bye-bye.'" I took it and flushed it and when I came back, Ham was still frozen, wide-eyed. I think she was just as surprised at her reaction as I was.

I held out my arms and she gave me a big hug and then toddled off to her basket of toys. It was as if nothing ever happened.

Today's reaction to the roach was a far cry from the reaction I saw on her face about 8 months ago.... The one I remember was an expression of immense satisfaction, as two little roach legs were dangling out of her mouth.

She's come a long way.

Am I a Redneck?

My husband posed a question to me that I really hadn't thought of and I guess I have tried to ignore ever since he asked it.

Ham often crawls around in a diaper. Just a diaper.

And she never wears shoes (I have been told by the pediatrician and my chiropractor that it's best not to put babies in hard-soled shoes). That may be why she has excellent balance and can stand while clapping or 'dancing' without holding onto anything.

So, the other day, Genius asked me how many parents we knew that probably let their babies crawl around in just a diaper. My reply, "I dunno."

He mentioned one of my friends in particular who has quite a bit of style and has grown up with quite a bit of money. He said that he couldn't imagine her letting her baby go all day (around the house) in a diaper. He wasn't trying to knock me...I don't think...or her...I'm sure of that...but he was "just wondering."

This is the thing. Ham HATES clothing. I think she would even rip her diaper off if she could figure out the Velcro and something tells me that she isn't far from learning how to do that.

She also hates shoes (I've tried putting some cute little soft-soled shoes on her).

However, she acts like she doesn't even know how to crawl when she has shoes on.

It's like when you put clothes on a cat. They just lay there like they've gone catatonic....

OK, I didn't even mean to do that!

Cat-a-tonic.

Pure GENIUS!

So, I don't make her wear clothes if she doesn't have to, right? I don't make her wear cutesy shoes, so what? I mean, it's been a blazing 90-something degrees for a while now (not counting the unnaturally cool nights we've had lately thanks to El Nino).

Does my half-naked baby mean that we are rednecks?

I don't cart her around like that outdoors! Uhh...I mean.

Do you notice that I also let my child eat dirt and leaves?

Well, it was hot these days!

If anything, I go TOO far when we go out to run errands.

Dress, check. Diaper cover (I prefer to call them 'bloomers'), check. Bow in her sparse hair, check. What else is there? A purse? Lipstick? Glitter fingernail polish? Diamond earrings? BLLLLEEEECCCKKKK! No thanks. She doesn't even get to take her lovey with her!

I'm such a meanie.

Besides, I love looking at her, count 'em, FOUR rolls that get hidden by clothes she doesn't even like. If I'm a Redneck, then I guess I'll just have to live with it.

However, I will say that this is totally unnecessary exposure. This was at our Family Reunion. Usually at least 10 people are around at any given time.

No, no. I'm the worst mother ever!

You hear it from every mom at one point or another...
"I'm the worst mother in the world!"

We really do believe it...even if we are secretly hoping someone will say, "Oh gosh, no you're not! You're a ___________"(insert: Goddess, Saint, Powerhouse, Queen of Clean, Mrs. Wonderful, Mother Teresa of Mommyhood, My idol, A Dream Come True to any child, etc.) BTW, I like all of those, thank you.

However, all moms, dads, aunts, uncles, Grammies, etc. have moments when they do things that truly and accidentally endanger a child's life, realize they can't be everywhere at once when something dreadful happens, or do something really stupid.

I'm on the latter end today.

So, Ham has fallen off of our bed twice in a week and a half. The first time was pure stupidity. I needed Genius' help on something and went back to the bedroom to enlist him. Ham was in bed with him, playing, and what do we do? We BOTH leave the room to go figure out the all-important so-important-I-can't-even-remember-what-it-was thing and leave Ham on the bed. TOTALLY NOT THINKING!

Half way down the hall, we hear a thud and a whimper. Then a full-on cry. I raced back down the hallway....

(I make our hall sound like the one from The Shining.)

Really, it's only about like this:

ANYWAY! I hustled into our bedroom and couldn't see Ham anywhere. I then heard her whimper again and went around to my side of the bed...and almost laughed. There she was, in the midst of two pillows, laying in that awkward position where you are trying to sit up, but can't because whatever your sitting on is too soft...or face it, you've gained too much weight and can't get your fat patootie up.

I cried, "Oh baby!" Mistake. She began crying again and I felt horrible. I lifted her up and cuddled her. It took 10 seconds for her to get over it. At that moment, I was so glad I had thrown the pillows off the bed that morning. I'll bet $100 that she fell off trying to reach anything and everything on my nightstand.

My Genius husband's reaction? "Why did you leave her? I thought you knew she was on the bed!" Come on...of course I knew, but that doesn't mean my brain translates everything into readable code as fast as his computer processor! I was gracious enough not to remind him of the time he pinched Ham's arm in the highchair and gave her a nasty blood clot.

So, the other time she fell off the bed, I was right there. Not helping my case, you say?

She was near the edge of the bed on hubby's side and sat up with her back to the chasm that is our bedroom floor. She just disappeared off the side, with me grabbing at nothing but air. When I peered over the side (she wasn't crying yet) her legs were up against the side and...oh, here. I'll just sketch it out because I can't describe it.

She whimpered a little bit and then she was done.
I was SO glad that she didn't get hurt. (Our bed isn't that far off the ground.) Of course, I picked her up and cuddled her. She lasted 5 seconds and then she pushed me away and wanted to play again.

I hope it's pointless to say that we watch her a lot closer now. We do. I promise.


So, this is my argument of why I am the worst mommy ever, right? NOPE.

The reason I am the worst mommy is because last night, I grilled chicken, steamed veggies and made my absolutely yummy, creamiest mashed potatoes. I though Ham would enjoy a bite of this delicious, buttery (OK, margariney) goodness. I had sampled it several times. I had tested the surface of the serving I was about to give her too see if it was hot...it wasn't. However, when she bit into the piece of potato I didn't know was in there, it was piping hot. It was AWFUL! She wouldn't even drink the cold water I was trying to give her. I can't even write any more about it. That's how bad it was.

You know what Genius said this time? "That wasn't nearly as bad as when I pinched her arm with the highchair tray."

God love him.

W/out our Internet for a week!

Ok, so it's been too long since I've written. I hate when I go this long because then you feel like you have to cover everything to play catch-up. I'm not going to do that. I'll just tell you some basics and then get on with it.

I have created two new pieces of art. One of which is Here:

I created an etsy.com account McTigerlily and am going to list this piece at a rather high price because, let's face it, when we create something we like, most of the time, we don't want it to sell. Perhaps I should be embarrassed for the price. However, I will say that I used some rather 'different,' luxurious materials to make it more interesting.

The stars are made out of Aurora Borealis Swarovski crystals and the eggs are six white freshwater pearls. I even calculated how much those embellishments would cost on their own and it was around $10. So, add a few dollars for the vintage wooden knobs for apples and the labor of love and I think $60ish isn't that bad of a price. However, it's only like, 7x6." It may sell one day, it may not. That's OK.

I've been doing some really fun stuff, creatively. I have made a few stamps. One is a little bird sitting on a vine and the other is my signature faerie that I've been drawing since I was 13 years-old. I'll have to post pictures of those later because our Internet is down and I'm having to use a wireless connection and I can't get on my computer to download the images.

That's been rough. It sucks to be looking at your computer, thinking of all the places you want to surf and all the important things you want to do like playing free poker advancing your career as an artist and not be able to do anything about it at the moment.

It's amazing how much we rely on the Internet(s) these days. We've tapped into an unsecured wireless connection from a neighbor (not illegal, btw...I don't think) and it's a pretty weak signal, but strong enough to get online every now and then. I find myself looking at the bars saying, "Come on, baby. Come on. YES!! Three bars! Connect, connect!" Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

On a different note, Ham is teething. I really, really, think she's teething this time. LOL. She has been chewing on things since she was 3 months old and we have had some false alarms, but now she really does have ALL the signs. She is drooling like CRAZY. I'm not talking a little spit on a block she's devouring, OH NO! I'm talking, when she's crawling from Point A to Point B, drool pours out of her mouth. She seems pretty surprised by it sometimes. That's the price of teething a little later than most babies.

Another thing is that this morning she began sneezing a lot. Her nose is runny (oh joy) and that is another sign. The last sign is not so lovely...as if the others are.... It's the other runny end that is getting to me.

BTW, why is it like that? I mean, the kid is going to be in at least some discomfort already with the teeth busting through tender gums, so why do we now have to treat chaffed skin on her butt, nose, and chin because of all the runny, sloppy, icky stuff that comes along with teething? Poor girl.

Welp, I have a lot to blog, but I'll start another post later. I don't want this one to be too random.

Ham's Amazing!

Ok, so Ham has been trying to sit up on her own more and more. She gets on her tummy and then pushing up with her arms, she gets up on her hands and knees and goes back into a sitting position. It kinda looks like she is going to crawl backwards. I'd only seen it a few times before today, and mostly in her crib.

Today she has not only been getting into the sitting position, she has been 'crawling' like crazy. She gets into the sitting position, then gets up on her hands and knees, rocks back and forth a little, and then takes a few steps.

I'm so proud of her. I'll upload a video in a little while.

Also, for the first time today, she signed 'more.' It was because I gave her a tiny sip of my Grapico and she went nuts! She started signing 'more' and then lost it when I wouldn't give her more. However, never despair, I gave her a bottle of cold water and she was happy with that.