Did I Say That?

I'm so very sad

2011-11-11T19:36:00.000-06:00

You know the Scripture that starts out, “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”?

Yeah. I feel that way right now.

Hey, King Solomon said these words. You know, the wisest man that ever lived, the Son of David (the man after God’s own heart)...so if it’s good enough for him, it’s good enough for me.

Don’t get me wrong. I am SO over depression. There is nothing in life worth getting so down, so isolated, so irreparably sad that you feel you can’t go on. However, I do still get sad. Normal sad. I get bothered by things. Deeply moved by things that I know just aren’t quite right (people fighting over petty things). Or very, very wrong (a Somalian child dying of hunger).

I just don’t know how I got here…finalizing a divorce…with two sweet, adorable, smart little girls in tow.

Grrrr. I know how I GOT here. I chose the wrong path and made the wrong decisions 19 months ago, three years ago...10 years ago. And the ball started rolling faster and faster until it ran over everyone in its path.

Who am I kidding? It was more like a boulder…going downhill...covered in ~~snow and bits of debris~~ shards of glass and ticking like a time bomb.

But now, there is nothing I can do! I’m sober, (I’ve been sober for over 19 months now). I’m wiser. I’m not so trivial about life, love, marriage. I am working, living on my own, raising a baby….SOBER. And I am so averse to wild, rebellious living that I’m downright boring.

Seriously, I’ve always been known as a free-spirit and although I am still creative and love to create, I am so disinclined to have adventures that my friends think I’ve had a lobotomy. I guess in a way, I have. And I’m not sorry for it. I NEEDED to change. I had to change. So I did change. I, at least, like myself now. That’s all that matters. Self-loathing is an unbecoming trait. Besides, I’m still fun. I laugh out loud and I truly love life.

I just wish there was something I could do to mend things that I broke. Not necessarily put the pieces back together…because, let’s face it…when I broke IT, I broke it so badly that you can’t just glue it back together. No. This is something God would have to re-form. He would have to sweep up the ashes, put them in warm water, and re-mold it. It would look completely different than it did before. I’m all for that.

I, however, can’t be the only one.

That is the reason I am so. very. sad.

AMMENDMENT: TO TRAIN UP A CHILD Part Deux

2011-08-30T20:53:00.002-05:00

OH the joy of being put in my place!

Tonight I had the pleasure of watching my 15 month-old neice and my 9 month-old for a few hours.

After dinner, I decided the mandarin-orange-splattered, turkey-stick-smelling ~~monkeys~~ sweet darlings could play in the bathtub for a while.

Let the madness ensue.

It started off great. Lots of giggling and swapping of toys and bare tooshies gliding along the bottom of the tub. Then my 9 month-old began trying to stand up.

There are few things I jump on as readily as my kids being in danger, so I immediately helped her back down and told her, "No, no, honey. Sit down."

What does she do? Yep. You got it. She stands back up.

This is where ~~World War III~~ a bit of a battle begins...

Stands up. Tap, tap on the rear, "No, sit down." Help her back down.

Stands back up. Tap, tap on the rear, "Sit down." Help her back down.

Stands back up. Firm tap on the rear, "Sit down." Help her back down.

She begins to cry in protest. (PROTEST. Not pain.)

Stands back up. Still light, but firm pop on the rear, "Sit down, sweetie." Help her gently back down.

Begins to SCREAM angrily. (This is a NINE MONTH OLD, people. Do not be deceived. She TOTALLY knows what is going on!)

STANDS BACK UP!!! Pop on the rear. "Baby, sit down." Help her back down.

Not even hesitating, defiant and MAD, she begins to stand back up while howling like a banshee.

Then...

She slips.

She falls and turns over and gets water in her mouth and begins bawling crying. This scares my neice who begins to cry and stand up.

I help my little one and hold her for a moment and make sure she's OK while also comforting my neice.

The rest of the bath??? Where I actually have to bathe them? HAHAHAHAHA

They were both standing up, holding on the side of the tub and me. Sniffling. And babbling happily.

Game. Set. Match.

SCORE:

Me: 0

Babies: 2

To Train Up a Child

2011-08-30T13:21:00.002-05:00

Oh. Dear. Me.

My little one is 9 months old today. What does that mean? Well...lots of things.

It means she joyfully laughs at something she finds funny that has nothing to do with me. It means she is cruising on everything. I means she can (and is) mimicking sounds such as the "b" sound for "baby" and "ball" and the "p" sound for "potty" and "puppy." It means that just the other day, she was signing "puppy" and as I pulled toy after toy off the shelf to see which one she wanted, she aptly shook her head "no" at each toy. (Of course, I never did get the right toy because after a couple of head shakes, I think it became a game.)

It also means I am losing time to train this child in the way she should go.

Don't you gasp at me! My 9 month old is mastering the art of manipulation.... What, yours isn't???

Those of you that are parents, answer me this.... How many times has your little one thrown her sippy cup to the ground after you've repeatedly told her 'no?' What great contortions can your baby get into to get out of having his diaper changed? How loud has your angel screamed when you took an object away that they wanted?

This is called defiance. Rebellion. And it is a weed that can destroy the whole crop.

Listening instead of judging now, are we? Well...I hope so.

I would much rather train a baby to have self-control than a teenager.

A baby can have self-control, you ask? Yes, they can. I've seen it. And not only is it a joy to watch, but the immense peace the CHILD gets from delaying gratification is breath-taking. I kid you not. Ask yourself which is better...

This is the scenario:

You have warned and corralled your baby away from electrical sockets. One day, you have been charging a phone/iPod and forget to recover the socket. Your baby (6 months+) sees the uncovered socket and happily finds something else to play with, looking for your acceptance of her obedience (and hopefully getting it!). (YAY!) Or, do they, seeing the free-will chance to 'explore,' begin to stick their precious finger in the socket? Maybe you catch her before it's too late. Maybe you don't.

Hearing those screams of pain isn't cute.

Neither is disobedience.

So, what was the difference in these babies? Why would one stop and the other one go for it anyway, despite your repeated warnings?

Consistency. (It is ALWAYS the parents/caregivers fault if a child gets away with rebellion.) You have corralled her a hundred times, perhaps smiling as you've done it. When she screamed to explore the socket, you've endured it. However, have you ever thought about making the exploration (actual TOUCHING) of the socket, unpleasant? Truly unpleasant?

A 'pop' with two fingers on the back of the hand isn't going to kill them or even bruise them, people. And if you start out like this, you will not ever have to pop them harder than this or raise your voice. I have an almost four-year-old that can attest to this. Most of the time, a firm, quiet "right now" will get Ham moving in no time. If it doesn't, as silly as it may seem, a little pop with a debit card or tongue depressor will sober her up.

In training a child, you must make disobedience, rebellion, or physically dangerous things MORE unpleasant than the act of defiance. And don't kid yourself, sin seems fun! Especially when there are no immediate consequences.

However, never let them get away with it. Don't let that 'one time' go. That 'one time' will turn into 50 times and you'll have a three year-old who walks all over you. Don't blame them! It's what you trained them to do!

Let me reiterate. A child throwing a tantrum is not a bad child. He is only doing what he was taught! If you get $100 every time you throw a tantrum, wouldn't you keep doing it? Doesn't make you BAD, it makes you TRAINED!

Likewise, having a child that throw tantrums does not make you a bad parent. You just need to tweak your training a bit. Tantrums should be as unpleasant to the child as they are to all of us watching.

If a child throws a fit for attention, what do you do? You ignore them.

If a child screams for a sucker, what should they get? Definitely NOT the sucker! If they are older, they shouldn't even get a cracker! Screaming shouldn't reward them ANYTHING.

If a child hits their sister to gain a toy, what should happen? They don't get to play. Period.

Like learning to maintain finances, this is easy stuff to KNOW. It's implementing it and delaying our OWN gratification that is the hard part. We are the example. Isn't it nice to have a bank account with money in it? I don't want my child to start out with a deficit in life because I'm too impatient to teach them the joy and peace of self-restraint.

You can unsubscribe from my blog now. :(

If you'd like to see where I get some of my 'hair-brained" ideas, check out To Train Up A Child and The Bible

Why Quality Over Quantity?

2011-08-18T23:36:00.000-05:00

DISCLAIMER : All artwork shown, I sketched myself. However, the cartoon characters are the sole property of their creators.

***I claim no ownership of these characters.***

I was looking at some cartoon characters today and noticed how very rudimentary a lot of the most popular ones are right now. Especially those that inhabit the Cartoon Network.

Many of them are reminiscent of Ren and Stimpy, but more so, these days I see a lot of them following in the footsteps of Scooby Doo.

I took out my sketch book and started seeing how easily I could recreate the most popular of these cartoons (I wanted to make sure I only took seconds on these things, so they are not perfect, by any means)...I was surprised.

(I uploaded them and darkened them up a bit.)

I will say this. I had the most trouble with Winnie the Pooh. I am not sure if it was a mental thing because I have loved Pooh all my life, or if his proportions messed with me. The second hardest was the GINGA character from the Beyblade cartoon. I am not familiar with manga-style artwork, so the proportions on that one took a few minutes to figure out, as well. The others took seconds to draw.

I am not saying I am so much better than these artists, but it amazes me that so many of us kill ourselves trying to make entertaining AND quality art, and here are these people mass-producing elementary artwork. (And making millions off of it in branding items for children.)

Then I began to question WHY these cartoon characters are drawn in such simple formats? I came up with a few ideas...

The simplest drawings can be reproduced by just about anyone. They can have a team of artists on board who can draw any given character to mass-produce this stuff.
Cost-effectiveness. For the most part, this is not Pixar (Pooh and Phineas & Ferb are Disney, though). These cartoons are mostly owned by Viacom and although successful, they aren't a multi-billion dollar company staffed by the likes of ~150K people.
The creators are focused more on the writing. (I cannot believe some of the stuff that comes out of these cartoons sometimes. I don't even know how kids follow some of this humor.)
They are easy to draw so that kids CAN reproduce them! (Hey, if you can get kids to draw this stuff all over their notebooks, they become walking advertisements!)

There are probably many reasons.... You aren't paying $10 a ticket to see a two hour movie with these characters (except Pooh). I think it's more about the writing and mass-producing.

Still, stinks for me. I want to create quality work, but because of that, it takes so much more time and energy and therefore, costs a lot more if I want to sell it and make any kind of profit.

Ah, well. Back to the drawing board. (Har har)

"Wordless" Wednesday is Back!

2011-08-17T16:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Baby smiling for the camera

Big Girl holding her sippy cup and eating all by herself!

Ham 'taking a spin' with Momma on Uncle Bud's motorcycle

Taking a different kind of spin.

TWIRLY SKIRTS ARE AWESOME!

Smooshy loves her cousin and Aunt Jen

Momma, I'm so funny!

Drooling like a Rancor about to get its next meal

Mountian Top Experiences

2011-08-16T14:51:00.006-05:00

Since becoming a Christian (accepting Christ as Lord and Savior, not just believing in God), I have heard the term, 'mountain top experience' at least a hundred times. I know what it means. I know what is implied when someone says they have had one. I also know that they don't last long (in this case, thank GOD).

You aren't meant to live on mountain tops. The view is great, but the wind is fierce, it's often far from water, and usually people have a hard time adjusting to the high altitudes and cold. It's just not logical or practical to live on a mountain top (and I'm speaking strictly of the peaks, here, not some nestled valley within two peaks).

For the last 16 months, I've lived in a combination of valleys and even lower valleys. I have definitely tasted fresh, mountaintop air, but it's a far cry from what I experienced when I was a new Christian. The giddy, mountain top breathlessness of my youth is nothing like the deep, cleansing (aka stripping my soul of sin) breaths of the treacherous peaks.... Which, at first, made my lungs feel like collapsing in pain.

In the worst of times, when my faith was stretched the farthest, I began to hyperventilate and shudder. (Which, coincidentally, is exactly what happens at high altitudes when you aren't use to them. Go figure.)

No, these brutal gasps and pants, I have found only with spiritual growth this time around. Of course, I had to be coerced up the mountain a bit in the first place...

Again, one cannot live on the mountain tops, and for that, ~~I think~~ I'm grateful. At least, I know my peaks have included jagged crags (fear), slippery slopes (temptation), falling loose rock (other's sin) and many encounters with the indwelling wildlife (my own ugliness). And I prefer to keep these frail human legs on soft grass...even though the peaks are exhilarating once conquered.

I prefer to say, "Woot-woot!" and then slowly climb back down to lay peacefully among the fragrant heather on the side of a hill.

See? Doesn't that look nice?

I dunno, doesn't it make sense that all the real fruit comes from the valleys? Not a whole lot grows up on those peaks.

I just pray, Lord, that when I'm in the valley, just hanging out with You, that I remember Your plan is good. Your will, perfect.

And that I'm never, ever alone.

TA DA!

2011-08-14T22:31:00.001-05:00

Introducing......

SMOOSHY

Make sure you at least watch minutes 2:00 and 3:00

When I began really getting to know Ham, I honestly thought I could never have a child more dramatic than her.

Then I met Smooshy on Novemeber 30th, 2010 (she even made her entrance a little early). She is about the most social, in-your-face baby I have ever met. I love it. And...sometimes I am almost sure that I am going to sell her to some Norwegian gypsies...if any ever come this way.

Of course, I may have chosen Norwegian gypsies so that I know I won't ever sell Smooshy, because let's face it...she's just so darn cute!

Sometimes she just busts out in a dance like she hears music playing in her head. I don't know WHERE she learned to dance like this, but this child already knows how to move.

You Know Your Child's Father is a Programmer When...

2011-08-14T20:30:00.000-05:00

There are many different reasons you can be completely shocked and embarrassed by what your kids say.

Reason #1: Your child tells anyone standing still long enough about some intimate detail of your life (i.e. You still suck your thumb; you pick your nose...and eat it; you wear holey underwear; all you feed your kids is McDonald's, etc.).

Reason #2: Your child repeats something she's heard from a t.v. show you watch religiously (or a movie you saw on Netflix)...Or she tells people WHAT you watch by saying, "Momma loves when so-and-so make out after a big fight." Eeep! (People, DON'T let your kids watch adult shows, please. I won't get into whether or not I think ADULTS should be watching some shows....)

I digress...

Reason #3: Your child repeats things that come out of YOUR mouth that shouldn't be said OR repeated...(Unless you have the unfortunate experience of your child bursting out to your pastor, "Momma said the 's' word!" And you have to explain that the 's' word is 'stupid,' hoping he believes you-BECAUSE IT'S TRUE, NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE LYING TO COVER YOUR TAIL!).

Then there are times when you are shocked that something comes out of your kid's mouth because it's genius.

If you have ever read my blog, or you decide to back-read it, anyway, you know that Ham is a genius. At least, I think so. She's a clever little girl, at any rate. And it's apparent that her daddy THE Genius has explained a bit about computer programming (one of his specialties) to her.

Here's the scenario:

Ham is dancing around the living room 'holding' her 'brother's' hand (her new imaginary brother). At one point, she begins looking around and says, "Oh, Brother is not here anymore!" She flits over to my computer and sees a drawing (Poog) I was working on minutes before she got to my house and says, "Oh, there he is!" And at this point, she pretends to grab her brother's hand and lead him out of the computer.

My sister and I smile at each other and my sister asks, "How did your brother get inside the computer?"

At which Ham nonchalantly says, "Oh, he coded himself into the computer."

My sister and I about fell out. He CODED himself....

All the sudden my sister and I were having flashbacks of The Matrix.

Brilliant. Baby. Girl.

Still such a HAM!

I See...Birds

2011-08-11T19:42:00.000-05:00

Here's my newest creation. His name is Poog. He is a bird. Of some sort.

One day I was looking at the ceiling while nursing Smooshy and began to notice patterns in the texturized ceiling. I focused in on one spot and sat smiling as the image of a little bird appeared.

The next day, I noticed it again and began to think that may be I should draw it.

I went about my business.

The third day, I felt that I just had to get it on paper...and Poog was born.

The first of the three images above is what I saw. I just made up the other two to give him a little more personality.

Yes, I am fully aware that Poog looks like a duck and blue jay combined.

Hey, I draw what I see in my head. Not sure why he doesn't have wings.

May be it's because he likes to do this...

RABID POOG

When Doctrine Gets Dirty

2011-08-10T16:30:00.000-05:00

Highly recommended series

Ham (my 3 1/2 year-old) and I went to the library yesterday to get one of her favorite videos. She wanted to share it with Smooshy (my 8 month old), which in and of itself, is just precious. (I am constantly amazed at how thoughtful Ham is when it comes to other people.) Sometimes, however, her observant and curious personality comes back to bite me.

I guess 'fate' is getting me back for when I was little and asked my dad questions like, "Why is 'y' a 'y?' Why isn't it a 'b?' I mean, who decided that it was a 'y?' Who decided that blue is actually blue? What if blue is actually green? What if we've got it wrong?" (That was when I was 8 years old) Later, it was, "How can 'x' equal anything? A letter is not a number! An 'x' is an 'x.' I'm not doing Algebra. I hate Mathematics." My poor parents.

So, as we are checking out her video, Ham notices an unusual-looking coffee cup on the librarian's desk. Unprompted, she looks over at it and says, "That's coffee. I know what that is. But why is there no handle on that cup?" I look at it and notice the inside is a green enamel, like the old depression-Era green. On the outside, it's stainless steel.

Any guesses?

The point is, the librarian explained to us that her father had passed away at 93 years old and left her this special cup. Ham asked why he had died. The librarian said he was sick and old. I watched her to see how she'd react to that, and Ham seemed to take it in stride.

Once we walked outside, however, she wanted a recap.

"Her daddy died?"

"Yes, honey."

"Why?"

"She said he was sick and he was old. God gives us these bodies and one day, our bodies get old and we leave them here, we die, and our new bodies go to Heaven."

"Our new bodies? How do they get to Heaven?"

Hmmmm. OK. At this point, I stop and wonder if this is supposed to be a theological discussion or just a matter of geography. I decide to approach the theological side...because honestly, I can't even describe where Heaven IS. How do you explain a fourth dimension or a parallel universe? And I don't even know that those explanations are accurate.

"When your body dies, and you believe in Jesus, you go to Heaven."

No such luck. She wanted the geographical answer...

"But where is Heaven?"

"Well, Heaven is beyond the sky. Beyond the stars, even."

"So, how do we get there? Do you have to have a parachute?" (Brilliant baby girl)

"No, not even a parachute will get you there. We have to have our new bodies to get there."

At this point, she's crawling up into the car and getting in her car seat. She looks down at her Baby Dance video, and very thoughtfully asks, "Why do babies wear diapers?"

FINALLY, a question I can answer with confidence and brilliance!

"So their poop doesn't fall on the floor."

By the time I got in my seat and was buckling in, I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Ham starting to giggle uncontrollably. We giggled all the way home about it.

I love being a mom.

Answer to what kind of 'cup' Ham discovered:

Vintage Stanley Thermos

Peter Pan

2011-06-12T14:34:00.003-05:00

Oh, let the imagination fly! My Sophie Anabelle has fully discovered Disney movies. Not all of them. It only took one, actually.

Peter Pan (Pee-tah)

Apparently, Sophie had the pleasure of watching Peter Pan over at her Memaw's and Papaw's house not long ago. Since then, she is obsessed. OB-SESSED. She runs around sporting a British accent (a very good one, I might add) looking for Peter (Pee-tah).

My dear 3 1/2 year-old went from playing "Ressurection" (complete with her reclining across two chairs as the 'tomb' and asking someone to roll away the stone to see if she's risen) to running around calling, "Peee-tah. Where are you Peee-tah! Come back! I love you, Pee-tah." Oh. D-d-d-d-d-dear.

Of course, I have to admit that she makes the perfect Wendy. Complete with a soft-spoken accent, calling Tommy "George" or "Faah-tha" and me "Mother." She's dainty enough and girlie and well....flitty...enough to also make a good Tinkerbell, but she lacks the raging jealousy.

Besides, she looks a bit like Wendy, anyway. Don't you think?

Paper Dolls and other activities

2011-03-10T21:34:00.001-06:00

Playing Paddy Cake

I had a wonderful time with Sophie today. I got up early so that I could get ready while Lily was still sleeping. (I am finding that I MUST begin appreciating mornings now that I'm living the life of a single mother.)

These are glorious times. I love being a mommy. Tuesdays and Thursdays are precious to me. I get to watch my three-year-old play make-believe, love on her, chase her, take walks with her and see how much she loves being around Lily.

She and Lily are so cute together. Lily already adores her big sister and has a ready grin on her face when Sophie talks to her. Sophie, however, can also make Lily cry like no one else. Sophie doesn't mean to do it, but sometimes she is just overcome with the need to act like a tiger, bear, lion or some other creature that growls really loudly. When she does this in Lily's presence, usually in Lily's face, Lily immediately drops her bottom lip as low as it can go and lets out a pitiful cry. (Sometimes, I wonder if Sophie inwardly enjoys the impression she makes. I mean, WOW! What a reaction Lily gives to that scary growl!)

At this point, Tommy and I try not to laugh too much at Sophie's back-tracking, "Lily, Lily, it's OK, it's just me. It's me, big sister!" or poor Lily's astonishment. (We usually fail pretty miserably.) These are good times. Times it feels like it's supposed to...like a family.

Today, I embarked on a new activity with Sophie as Tommy worked his magic by getting Lily to sleep.

I made some paper dolls for her...

You see, right now, Sophie is really into using sissors to cut paper and create pictures by pasting the pieces on black paper. (I have acquired quite a bit of scrapbooking paper and it makes for wonderful art.) As I was cutting out flowers and whatnot for her to paste, I began creating little people. After I had cut out a momma, daddy, brother and sister, they needed clothes, of course. Hats, shirts, pants, you know. Then I cut out a dog and Sophie insisted that it needed to be on a leash.

Once I was done, Sophie was off in the World of Pretend.

This was such a joy to me! It was a simple and pleasureable thing to do for her and I was taken aback when, after completing the family, Sophie looked up at me with genuine gratitude and said, "Thank you, Mommy." Such a good girl, she is!

What a priceless thing to share with her!

After a wonderful day, I went back to my house with Lily (always a sad time that requires much reflection, praying and occassionally, provokes some tears) and laid her down for a nap. I was not only given a special little gem like Sophie, but I have been blessed with TWO tiny treasures.

When Lily woke up from her nap, I walked in to see her peeking up over the side of her bassinet, looking for me. I laughed and ran to get my sister who rejoiced with me at the cuteness of it.

This sweetness is enough. I know God's love in these times.

It'll be so boring without it!

2011-03-04T21:19:00.002-06:00

Typical scenario at my sister's house (Leaving for church):
Aria (5 yrs old) comes running in as my sister is trying to haul her 9 mos. old out the door.
Aria says, "I need to get something."
(Her target: My sister's lipstick.)

My sister, "You are not taking my lipstick to church. You already lost my lip liner."

Aria, "But Momma, it will be so boring without it!" (Starting to cry.)
My sister, "It'll be boring without it?"

(Aria's beginning to cry pretty hard. I begin to chuckle pretty loudly in the other room.)

My sister to Aria, "I said, 'No.' Now go get in the car."
(Turns her voice toward me, "Don't you laugh! Your day is coming!")
Oh man. I keep forgetting....

ARIA MY SOPHIE

Oh. My. Gracious.

Sinking Sand

2010-01-25T22:29:00.001-06:00

I guess I've known for a long time I am a co-dependent person. I would never have called myself that, though. Not with my need to be in control of my own environment, of myself. To be utterly independent of anyone else and trust no one. To be set aside, unique, different, unable to be tossed back and forth by the wind. A rock.

How trite and fleshly.

I have become and have been (most of my life) the very thing my spirit and soul cry out against. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, "An artist. I would travel all around and find the lone tree in a gated pasture and I would draw for hours and then sell my work." The response, "Good luck with that, kid."

I am so co-dependent I've become unreliable. Paralyzed. Someone who has neither goal nor the means to finish a race to win. Impotent. A man who looks at himself in the mirror and then forgets his own face as he walks away James 1:23 & 24. I've almost destroyed my own livelihood, my marriage (subsequently, my daughter) and sinned against my own body. Defiled the temple of the Holy Spirit.

No longer will I be seeped in the way of liars, beggars and thieves.

Divine Intervention

2010-01-21T20:01:00.000-06:00

Things are getting better day-by-day and I don't understand it.

One thing I'm recognizing is that my devotion to God, somehow, someway, is becoming stronger.

I realize I am not so legalistic as I was, even though my selfishness astounds me still. My husband has deep needs to be respected and restored. These things are coming out in our studies of Love and Respect and I fall way-short of the wife God created me to be. The helper. The help meet. However, he shows no disgust toward me...as if my sin has not created a hole in his heart and I am not the guilty one, holding the bloody knife. I am shocked at my own deception. Where did learn to I stray so far?

And when it's too much for me to be the wife I want and need to be, and when I am overwhelmed, I have found words coming from my very own mouth which are disrespectful and self-righteous. Ugh.

How dare I, right? How do I manage such nerve? I long to have righteousness and truth at the heart of our marriage, that is the truth, but I remain so dull. So vain. So evil-minded. To the point of thinking words like the above actually come from the Holy Spirit. When really it is my own fear of intimacy and laziness. Fear is yet in me and I must master it or it will kill us both.

Yet God's love remains. So foreign to me, this is. I've heard and read of God's sovereignty, but truly I have no right to take part in this heritage. I am but rags. Even now, these things are preposterous to God. "No," He says, "you are a daughter of the King. Redeemed. Now come to Me in repentance and start anew. I will give you the sweet words which have eluded you for so long."

I have heard Bible study after Bible study and I know the truths. I didn't have to be raised 'in the church' or with the Word to know I have hidden the truth in my heart and sinned against God, my husband, my family, my own peers, my child. It is only by the grace of God that I hid His truths deep in my heart, for they are there, but they cannot possibly apply to me.

No, no. I am the impossible who turned away and will be burned, not redeemed. Impossible to bring me to repentance. The Lord will say, "I never knew you." I can't possibly have a place among the saints or have any purpose.

Although. Although, I feel even if I am rejected, He would still be worth serving the rest of my life. (Ah, the battle of the elected vs. free will.) Predestination. I've taken my fair share of free will. Of that, I am certain.

A new day

2010-01-21T02:31:00.000-06:00

As I was preparing my mind and body for death James 1:15 , God was preparing a place for me to come to forgiveness and a resting place. Not one of spirits and golden streets, but of earth and hard work and a clean heart.

The clean heart, I did not expect and the hard work, I feared. The earth, however, felt good beneath my feet and my spirit leaped with delight in planting seeds in rich soil. (Ahhh, what I was meant to do!)

What a mess I've made and I'm not entirely sure it can be cleansed, but even if my God, my husband, my friends nor family will forgive me, I must rejoice in His love and mercy. Even His justice.

Even this path I started down almost ten years ago has come 'round and brought me back to him...just like St. Augustine said it would.

How is this possible? For it's NOT. Did I not read and hear and know not to grieve the Spirit (Eph. 4:30)? And did I not, with this knowledge and having seen and tasted His goodness, plunge into sin and ask Him to leave many times? So, why am I still here? Why has not anyone left me...including, O Lord, My God, dare I believe You have not left me even now?

OK, I changed it this time

2010-01-12T10:37:00.001-06:00

Yes, I intentionally changed the look of my blog. I am ready for a change. Ready for SO MUCH change. And warmer weather. But HUGE changes!

2010-01-12T08:13:00.002-06:00

I swear someone comes in and changes the font and color of my blog posts. I've got videos, crafts and fun things to write about, but not now. I need to update my LOOK!

2010-01-11T15:45:00.017-06:00

One of THE hardest blog posts I've ever had to try and perfect and make readable. UGH. I may not post again all week. These conversations were had with Sarah Gaertner Cook, a complete dork, and Melissa Babb Sharon. (The complete dork, being ME.)

IT STARTS WITH A HARMLESS FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATE:
A must read to understand the below conversations. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?ref=profile&id=513508866
Amy Vos McLeod Awesomeness. Sophie and I have had a great morning, just finishing a snaAwesomeness. Sophie and I have had a great morning, just finishing a snack and when she goes down for a nap...I'm gonna draw and listen to a CD I just got in the mail from Mer. :) Yay!!ck and when she goes down for a nap...I'm gonna draw and listen to a CD I just got in the mail from Mer. :) Yay!!

Here is the chat I was having with Sarah Cook. :) I only captured the tail end....har har.
Amy
oh good grief.
4:04pmSarah
interesting
you are a dork
4:04pmAmy
these could be useful in the near future.
i know.
i got too excited. and it's NOT a straight line. It's a vertical line with
well, it's like two dashes
or a line with a missing part
why'd they do that?!
and how did you know?
4:06pmSarah
oh me. you're cute
4:06pmAmy
Sarah!
4:06pmSarah
hehe
4:06pmAmy
I'm like a friggin' terrier chasing it's tail just to stop and say, "What was I doing?"
Sooo cute.
4:07pmSarah
yep
you got it!
Amy

sigh
I'm only like this when I'm excited.

This next one is in response to Sarah saying it's not morning anymore...

Melissa

we can always hope.

Amy

We'll, we can pretend.

my daughter does that on and off all day.

Melissa

no kidding. people call that creative...so let's pretend our houses are clean and we can just curl up with a nice book and some hot chocolate

3:38pmAmy

Oooo, can I have my fairytale with tea!

3:38pmMelissa

you betcha

3:38pmAmy

Good, cuz that's what I'm about to drink.

3:39pmMelissa

well, you're ahead of me. better go grab a hot drink...

3:39pmAmy

yup!

and i'm stirring it with one of Sophie's spoons because all the spoons are in the dishwasher.

we seem to eat a lot of things that require a spoon.

Another day...another smile

2009-08-04T11:48:00.005-05:00

Now, who wouldn't want to wake up to a day of this???

We're potty training (OK, we have BEEN doing it since she turned one and now she's almost two), and her smaller 'panties' (which, I love them because they are 'for boys' and I was always jealous of boy Underoos with Yoda and cool stuff like that), so, anyway, she's wearing boys hand-me-down undies (kinda, ew...now that I think on it) and they are a little too big. Size 4T, actually. But, it makes for some great pictures.

I love my pool. Who cares that it's only about 4 ft across. And I'm only 21 inches.

Now, back away, slowly. I'm so cute I might make your head explode.

So, this morning I awoke, like a normal person. No nausea, no feeling of impending death, no fear of facing the day...well, OK, there is always some little nagging fear of some deadline, some person going off on me, some unknown thing that I can't even describe. But, still, my chains have fallen off and I'm happy to be free.

I got a small portfolio together for the modeling agency from which I won a year contract (Sophie won one, as well). Here are some pictures:

Who knows where all that will go. Maybe nowhere, fast. But I just have to be patient and if something comes along, so be it. I don't want to be a mega star. There's a little indie flick I'm thinking of auditioning for at the Tutwiler on August 8th. Maybe I'll go. I don't know. I've got to admit that I'm a little scared.

But what is life without walking through the flames and realizing you didn't even get singed?

'Till then, in response to my last blog, my dad wrote me this astounding and insightful and blunt (yes, I get that from him and I love it) response to my coping problems. I think a lot of us could benefit from this wisdom, so LOVE YA, DAD! You're on my blog now. :)

COPING SKILLS:

(a) unless it’s an emergency, you DON’T HAVE TO RESPOND IMMEDIATELY to anything…any comment, any request, any demand, any invitation. In other words, draw a line and don’t allow anyone to cross it until YOU ARE READY.

(b) you can respond partially (when you choose to), like “I don’t know…I’ll have to think about that."

(c) you DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN YOUR RESPONSE. Often, we don’t know WHY something doesn’t “hit us” the right way, it just doesn’t, and a clear logical, rational explanation is not needed and not to be expected. After all, we’re not a computer…data in, data out.

That will be $135, please. Just give your credit card to the nice assistant at the door. :)

Did you ever have a time....

2009-08-03T22:19:00.007-05:00

Did you ever have a time when you thought, "This isn't happening. This is too surreal to be actually going on around me, in me (whatever the situation may be). I can't actually be considering these things. I can't actually have just done that."??

I have a friend who has become an addict, of sorts. ;) (In-recovery joke.) She has been exercising her butt off.... Seriously, Mer, like, where's your butt? LOL I'm kidding, of course.

But there's got to have been a moment where she thought, "Holy crap, this FitLinxx thing says I lifted 3 elephants this week. For real! Over time, my circuit training efforts mean I lifted that many elephants?" (I mean, with this YMCA FitLixx thing, you can even count walking from the parking lot to the grocery store!) Anyway, I digress...as usual.

So, anyway, I'm waking up, trying to go through my day, not thinking about my addiction in the sense that I am not trying to figure out how I can sneak around and get my 'fix,' but like, "HOLY! I'm through with it! Done. Finito. Wow. REALLY? Like, no, really?" And I smile. Really big. I laugh out loud. Even in this mental and sometimes physical pain, I just want to thank God that I'm done. I'm out of the closet. (No, I'm not gay.)

And I've realized what my new addiction is going to be. I mean, some Dr.s have told me that I need to do this and that and be hospitalized and blah, and blah, and blah. God's bigger than that. I was never opposed to doing what I needed to do, if I needed to do it, but I haven't needed all that Dr. supervision. (Funny word: Super. Vision. Like, Superman? For real?) Anyway, God's been enough. Watching my back. And my family and friends, and prayer and, of course, Tommy and sleep and my new addiction...which really isn't new because I had it before.

It's lame, nothing interesting, I know...but it's music. And I have to say, the clean version of this song, and the chorus especially, LOSE YOURSELF is THE most inspiring song for me right now. Eminem may not be some clean-cut Christian, but he is honest and you know what? I admire him. He's more open and real than a lot of people I know. So slander me. *Shudder* Big whoop.

I forgot how much I love music. Acting like a rock star in the car, in front of the mirror (OK, maybe I'm sharing too much.... *snort* ME sharing too much. *laughs*) and just being the biggest moron and pretending I'm the bomb.

Don't lie. You know you've done it, too.

However, there is one thing that is missing. HUGE problem: I've never learned how to cope with stress or conflict. I am the epitome of 'fight or flight.' For the last 8-some-odd years I've been flighting...flighty is more like it. Before that, I was a fighter. Not a good one. A mean one.

Seriously, anyone who knows me...really knows me...knows I am not non-confrontational (unless I have a horrible addiction to fall back on and couldn't give a rip and didn't have energy to fight back anyway). However, when I am backed into a corner, I do not come out with my fists up or say, "OK, you're right. I'm being irrational." (Although, I am capable of that rationality, it takes WAAAAY too much effort for me.)

So, if I'm not a pretty tame 'fists up, ready to fight,' what am I when I'm backed into a corner? I am thinking...this: You asked for it. And I was taught this. Through pain and heartbreak and lies and blah, blah, blah, blittity, blah.

So I called up a shrink today and said, "I have no coping mechanisms. The only coping mechanism I've had for about 8 years is gone. I don't want that to ever come back. However, I don't know the balance between fight or flight. I either roll over and play dead or...well, become your worst psychopathic, belittling nightmare. (You think I'm kidding?) And I hate it. I need help. Celebrate Recovery will help me with certain things, but the psychological things...I need help, Doc." So, I have an appointment with a psychiatrist tomorrow at 5pm.

He's actually excited for me. I can't truly understand why. Pretty cool doctor, I guess.

Anyway. That's all for now.

OH, please pray that I can get some more painting done. I just don't have the energy and these headaches are killing me and things are strained (no big surprise here) between Tommy and me. I still have two full paintings to go and the lady asked for them by mid-August. I'm going to have to trust my instinct and JUST FREAKIN' PAINT.

Oi? You been on 'oliday?

2009-08-02T19:12:00.008-05:00

I am going to go ahead and preface this with a HUGE and SERIOUS warning: Not everyone who reads this is going to be able to process it fully. I KNOW that I'm putting this out on the freakin' Internet for the 'whole world' to see. Do I care? NO! Why? Because hiding is what has gotten me into the situation I was in, up until almost 8 days ago, and has me writhing in the aftermath of fear and pain of the mentality and physicality of my sin. I will say this, though. This is NOT for you to gossip about and I call down God's angels to silence your tongue if you speak ill of what glory God is getting from my situation. I don't take this lightly. I'm not an idiot. I know there are people that will read this, perhaps glean something and know immediately what I'm talking about...on the flip side, others will only contemplate and never think of it again. But, if you do decide to tell people of what you KNOW to be the truth of my situation, in fairness, take the plank out of your own eye first. Then let us deal with my plank. Let them come to ME and I will stand as a living testimony of GOD ALMIGHTY. This is MY story, my testimony of God's grace and healing, my LIFE to tell, not anyone else's. No matter how important you think it is to 'share.' If you know you are a gossiper, slanderer or 'sharer,' please, out of respect for my family and to honor God, don't read this. Go read something else.

Thanks.
Peace and Chicken Grease.

Now on with the show.

Oi? You been on 'oliday?
Yeah, an eight-year "holiday" FROM HELL!

I'm not going to go into all of "IT" on blogspot.com for cryin' out loud (yet), and no, I am not referring to Disney. Disney was a great holiday. I hate roller coasters, but I know I'd ride the Tower of Terror a bazillion times if I could get back the (on and off of ) eight years I've lost. (I'm sure that after the tenth ride, I'd stop vomiting and passing out from anxiety and just get bored anyway...or laugh my head off and realize I love the feeling of free-falling.)

Anyway, the hell in which I am referring is this stupid, friggin' addiction I've had on and off for eight years that I am finally free of...well, it's been a week, but I'm free so far. Nothing dramatic happened, really. Just...got tired of it. God has shown me a glimpse of His dream for my life and man, oh man...it looked GOOOOOD. That's what it took.

I've got family, friends, even strangers praying for me and looking out for me and keeping me accountable. And I'm going to give Celebrate Recovery a good 'ole, standing-ovation try (I didn't say, "good 'ole college try", cuz honestly, I never did much like the college scene and I can't say I really tried when I was there--although, somehow I managed to pass everything but Math anyway. I didn't even finish my degree anyway...aaaaannd I'd feel cheap if I lied about giving props to my healing having anything to do with formal schooling.) I already feel cheap enough for all the crap I've done while addicted.

So, on the contrary, life has always been my school. I've never had any use for droning lecturers. What they said, never stuck. I'd doodle and think of elaborate short stories and wait for lunch and the blue sky. I'd rather read a million good books (shoot, even BAD books, if there is such a thing), walk the sands of the ocean or climb a tree in bare feet, face burials of 10 beloved pets, fight viciously with everyone I know, at least once, and to love deeply, passionately and have my heart broken over and over, so that I may even try to glimpse the vastness of God and the universe. (I still have a few of those goals to go, actually. Like, the fighting viciously part.) And with all that I've seen and experienced and lost in my tiny 33-years, I still don't understand the vastness of God or the universe, of course. Never will. That's fine with me. This isn't my home anyway, but I want to enjoy it as much as I can before it's gone.

Anyway, let me say this; I don't know why God had this happen now; this total healing. This repulsion by my sin. But I'm sure as heck glad He did. I've been begging Him to take this thorn from my flesh since 2001 and I couldn't believe He wouldn't do it! I got ticked, actually. (Ticked at the wrong thing, but ticked, nonetheless...and who do we blame when things don't go our way??? Yep. God.) I did my duty and went to church, tithed, attended Bible studies, quoted Scripture, love on the lost. So, what the heck, right?

Thankfully, I never stopped believing in Him; or His love, goodness or beautiful righteousness (His sanity, yes, but never His love, goodness or righteousness), but I certainly didn't want to have any real conversations with Him, either. He could have crushed my addiction once-and-for-all when I whole-heartedly wanted to start Truth Magazine, when I got married, when I had my little Hamlet, when I was recovering from three surgeries to remove necrotized fascia, but whatever.

Who can know the mind of God?

And that's Scripture, folks. Romans 11:34 says, "For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor?" Not me, thank...well, Him. If it was up to me, the whole planet would have waaay worse problems than fake Global Warning (kidding, kind of), Michael Jackson's obsession with plastic surgery or people thinking Obama is the savior. I would have wiped us out with a flood again when I was 16, promise or no. I'm just glad I'm not in His position.

See, we know that satan (we'll call him the s-word from now on), likes to pull some pretty sick pranks. Don't fail to mistake them for fun and games. He's playing for your life. He's trying to make you think all hell is going to break loose if a loved one is going to die. Or you'll lose a job and you've got mouths to feed and here comes the s-word, delighting in sending his slimey little cohorts (remember, he is NOT omnipresent) to pester you and plague you and taunt you unto death-and perhaps not even physical death, but certainly death of hopes, dreams, friendships, marriages, families and all good things in this world. But it's not God's fault if you choose to believe the s-word. Oh no! Do NOT be mistaken there.

Because, from THE MOST important AUTHOR, we know that, "The wages of sin is death, but the FREE gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord."--Rom. 6:23 (Did you get that part? I lost if for a long time. If He's not your Lord-the one you trust with all your hopes, dreams and fears, well then, He's nothing to you at all). Also, James 1:15 says, "When lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth with it, death." I like how another version puts it, too. "Then, when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full–grown, brings forth death." It gives sin this living, breathing entity that we can take so much more seriously. Our sin is like breeding axe-murderers. ON PURPOSE! You think I'm kidding? Look at some of the most notorious killers...they usually came from some twisted form of Christian home life.

(And, Yes, by-golly, after 8 years of (again, on and off) addiction, I can still recite Scripture and that is only by the grace of God, as well.) Do I have the right to preach, heck no.... And...heck, yes. The lack of belief is what has kept me in bondage for so long. So I rejoice in the Truth and when it is spoken...from my mouth, from anyone's mouth.

But now...what keeps us in these entrapments?

The Lies. You know 'em. I know 'em:

You are NOT worthy (course I'm not) except that Christ Jesus lives in me and makes me worthy.
You're a no-good liar and a thief (yes, that's true) and yet, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
You deserve every bad thing that happens to you (prolly, yeah), but we know that everything works together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And every good gift comes from God. He longs to give us good gifts.
Ooo, this is a good one! S-word works hard on this one, I bet; You are completely and utterly alone. BUT the Lord is near the broken-hearted; he is the saviour of those whose spirits are crushed-Psalm 34:18 and A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. —Proverbs 18:24

And on that friendship note, there is also the verse (to those trapped in addiction, struggling with shame, wrapped up in the sin of anger, unforgiveness (a biggie), lust, etc.:

Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
—Proverbs 27:5-6

Remember that when your friends and family will not allow you to live in sin any longer.

So, what gives me the gall to stand before God and you and write all this?

Because I am a sinner SAVED by GRACE and He has healed me and I know the truth.

(And because He told me I could.)

(See random pics from our trip here: You've Got a Friend in Me and here Disney in 36 Hours) Oh, and thanks, Ty, for keeping me company and giving me courage!

Working for love

2009-04-03T09:44:00.003-05:00

Wow. Sometimes it takes years, months, or decades to find what you really love to do with your time. You may have talents or abilities, but never know how exactly to use them for the glory of God or to make a living off of them. He has the answer.

My advice: Just start using them and He will bring opportunities out of the woodwork.

I think all of us have a certain thing we're really good at...music, math, painting, listening, counseling, athletics, writing, encouraging, organizing, fixing problems, and so on. It's something that comes rather easy to us. Something we often take for granted. However, sometimes, we believe the lie that we aren't any good at these things and let it drop to the wayside, 'squandering our talents.' Matt. 25 tells of a master who gives each of his workers a certain amount of talents.

I liken this to God giving us certain abilities (things we're born naturally good at doing) and asking us to use them for His Glory. If we bury them, it's like saying He doesn't know what He's doing and not only do we not trust ourselves with this talent, but we also don't trust God. Essentially, we are saying, "Um, thanks God, for giving me this, but You don't know what you're doing. I'm not good enough. I think I'll just sit on this and let other people with similar talents do all the work."

This is what I've been doing for years. I have been drawing since I was able to pick up a crayon. I remember sitting on my Grandmom's floor (mom's mom) and rifling through my special drawer to find crayons and paper at the age of 3. I wasn't any good then, but I had a passion. I just needed to hone my abilities.

It wasn't long before I began to shy away from drawing. A lady, who is now very well known in the art community (Donna Peters), was our neighbor and when she saw my drawings, she wanted to give me free...FREE...drawing lessons. I was too shy and wouldn't go over to her house. I still kick myself for that.

However, what I am doing now all started with a birthday party for a friend (Wendy). She had called in a lady to do a painting party with us. Our subject was a wrought-iron type cross. Our colors were pretty much pre-chosen, and the cross was already drawn out (this was super easy for me and very relaxing), but we could decide how to decorate and accessorize our painting. At the end of the party, I donated the painting to Lifeline Adoption Services because I had said I would submit something into the TableScapes 2009 silent auction coming up April 25th.

When ladies from Lifeline saw the cross painting, I began to generate some interest in my work. One girl, Marie, went ahead and asked me to paint a cross like the one I'd done, but in brown in blues. I agreed...for $45. (Live and learn.) On a side note: NEVER tell the price until you have accessed how much time it's going to take to complete a painting. I spent about 10 hours on this painting, trying to figure out the background, the shades of blue, and then the actual adornments, etc. An since I usually charge $20/hour, this painting should have cost an upward of $200. Like I said...live and learn.

However, it's done and I'm very pleased with it.

Now I have been hired to paint not one, but TWO murals for a lady's two girls. I was originally going to do in directly on the wall, but she said if they move, they wanted to be able to take it with them, so we decided to do it on a big canvas and then mount the canvas on the wall. I can't wait to get started and I've done some preliminary sketches. It's been a lot of fun (and hard work) learning to draw horses again. I grew up with horses and have always been fond of them.

This same lady wants a 4x6 painting of a horse for herself after I'm done with the murals and has told me she already has ideas for Christmas and her other friends are interested in hiring me, too. This is before I've even completed the murals!!!

For God's glory, I hope that the paintings with show the talents He's given me.

Life is so creative

2009-03-16T22:35:00.004-05:00

Wow, I'm actually having a pretty good time in life right now. My new nephew (Isaiah) is very healthy at 6 weeks and just too, too cute. My in-laws are so super-terrific, my husband loves me, even though I can be pretty unlikable sometimes. My sister, her kids, my BIL Smith and my mom all live not 20 minutes away from me, both sets of grandparents are less than 5 miles away in either direction, Hubby's 40+ cousins are close and they're more incredible to watch every day. My dad is a terrific cheerleader for me and helps me so much just in every day things. Props to him for marrying one of the best gals in the world! Love you, Gugu. OH, and my sister and I are starting a Bible study together. (Such a long story that I can't get into it here, but trust me, we went from wanting to kill each other most our lives, to her leading me to Christ in 1996, and now we are closer than ever.) God is so good.

On a whole other level, I have started working on the new commissioned piece for a girl that Andrea works with at Lifeline Children's Services. I am really excited about this piece because it is something I personally am drawn to artistically. It is a painting of a wrought-iron cross with blues and browns in the background and the cross itself is a dark brown. Here is the background without any accents or elaborate detail.

And here is about 45 minutes later as my husband takes pics of me working. He's really good at that and I'm thankful he takes such interest in my creative side. He's a great supporter. It's a wonderful thing.

So, there you have it. Not much else to report, but I'll blog more tomorrow and hopefully I will have this painting finished.

Help! My daughter's turned into a parrot!

2009-03-09T12:51:00.004-05:00

Welp, whoever said that teaching little ones Sign Language impedes their speech must not have been doing it right. Or at least, they've never met my daughter.

I can say just about anything and Ham will repeat it...or try. Which makes for very funny moments. All of which I wish I could get on tape, but alas, it's just so spontaneous that I would have to install cameras all over the place to capture her humor.

This morning I said we needed to get a diaper and a wipey and Ham crowed, "Di-uhn 'n eye-pee. Di-uhn 'n eye-pee." I love the variations of words she uses. It makes the English language so much more interesting.

However, there are downfalls.

Most of the time, Husband and I call each other "mommy" and "daddy." But sometimes we do call each other by our names. So, I don't know in what situation Ham deems it necessary to use my real name, but sometimes she will just start calling, "Amy! Ammmeeeee!" She doesn't do it to my husband, though. I don't know why.

This brings us to making sure we think about everything we say. I use, "Ah, man," when I do something unexpected, like dropping some food on the floor. And Ham might be in the other room and I hear her croon, "Aaa, meen." And one day I said something about a bomb and as she was innocently eating in her booster seat, she off-handedly mimicked me and said, "bauuum." Hubby and I just eyed each other warily.

I have to say that I'm glad I don't use swear words in everyday language. Now, I'm not perfect by any means and I have been known to let a nasty word slip when I am overcome with anger. (I don't like it, so I have worked to not do that at all.) I only say that to let you know I don't judge those who use curse words because I, myself have struggled with it. However, I don't want my daughter exposed to it. I don't think it's cute when kids cuss. I just don't. Sorry. I have laughed at it before, but since becoming a mother, I wouldn't ever want to hear dirty words rolling easily off her tongue. OK, that being said, let's move on.

Ham is also trying to sing songs she's heard. Most recently it's "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and I gotta say, she's just the cutest thing. The first part is a lot of, "Ayeyeyaya ooooayaya" and then it's a very pronounced, "Neee aaannnn tow." Love it.

So, that's the main event going on right now. SO much fun.

Ehhhhh....

2009-02-19T15:12:00.002-06:00

OK, so it's been too long to catch up on everything. My bad.

Let's get a few fundamentals out of the way:

I'm still recovering from the car accident which did leave my Camry a total loss, but scored us a check for more than what we paid for it almost 3 years ago. Ham and I are fine, but it was scary and I have a new, not-so-unjustified paranoia that I will get rear-ended again when I'm at a complete standstill.
Thus, we are now on the long, but somewhat fun, adventure of buying another car...or minivan. Hmmmmm....
I have finally found the antique armoire I've been looking for, for three years. BirminghamFreecycle is the bomb. A lady was giving away a white wood bedroom set complete with double dresser, vanity (mirrors included), night table and afghan rack. I jumped on it. I didn't know that when I went to go pick the stuff up off the side of the road (by her house), I would also be receiving a white, antique armoire. I doused it all with soap and water and it's just fantastic! I was literally jumping up and down in the middle of the road.
Ham can now recognize the written words, "hi," "arms up," "mouth," and "cats" 3 out of 5 times from the flash card set Grandma Annette gave us a month ago. She also put together her first shape and color puzzle two days ago all by herself. *big grin*
On a less exciting note, I have tonsil stones again (well, HAD...one big one) and if they keep coming back, the only option is to get my tonsils taken out. I had a sore throat, earache (I have a new-found sympathy for children with earaches), swollen lymph nodes, and trouble swallowing. So, what? I thought I was just sick or something. Then, I looked at my throat--it only took two weeks of misery for me to be smart enough to actually look back there--and I saw this big...well, you can just look it up if you want. I had my tonsils lasered down in 2003 b/c of this phenomenon and really, tonsil stones are just disgusting, so I won't go into it. It really is as gross as it sounds. Pray that they never, EVER come back.

So, that's just a little update. I'll post some pictures or something soon. I've got three new commissioned pieces of artwork to begin working on, but I still have to finish my mom's 20x24" Lillies before I'm allowed to start on anything else.

Jim Shore and Disney

2009-02-06T18:20:00.006-06:00

I have a new favorite artist. I can't believe I've never heard of him before, let alone seen his work. His name is Jim Shore and it's really his Disney stuff that I'm so in love with, to tell the truth.

I am not a big American Folk Art fan, but this guy's style on classics like

BAMBIALICE IN WONDERLAND'S

CHESHIRE CAT

and my favorite villians,

LADY AND THE TRAMP'S

SI AND AMand SLEEPING BEAUTY'S

MALEFICENT

are beyond inspiring for me.

I have always loved drawing paisleys and designing funky, psychedelic patterns that have hidden pictures within them, but this is some of the most charming work I've seen in a long time.

One of the best parts about his Disney creations (other than the fact that they are the coolest hand-carved, wooden, 3-Dimensional sculptures) is that they are relatively inexpensive. Si and Am can be found on eBay for around $17.00 + shipping or $25.00 retail. I found Bambi for $7.00 (even if I didn't buy it). I've never been able to afford Lenox or Armani or WDCC sculptures of my favorite characters, so this opens up a whole new world of Christmas lists for me.

I love it when I discover new artists and realize I can like genre's of art that I never gave much attention to before.

Move over Gentle Giant.

Tagged

2009-01-16T15:36:00.006-06:00

OK, My cousin (in-law, whatever), the lovely Blair McLeod, has tagged me in a fun and easy little game.

The Rules:

1) Choose the 4th folder where you store your pictures on your computer

2) Select the 4th picture in the folder

3) Explain the picture

4) Tag 4 people to do the same. No cheating (cropping, editing, etc.)

Welp, there it is. Grover, from Sesame Street, hanging on a clothes line. I did this pen drawing when I was a Sophomore at UAB taking Art. We had to pick a subject and draw it in pen, ink, pastels, oil, and watercolor in various different perspectives and settings (mine was a stuffed Grover toy that I loved dearly). I added the water droplet for effect. My teacher rolled his eyes, but I still got an "A" on the project.

I tag:

1. My sweet, and very pregnant, sister-in-law, Tammy.

2. One of my bestest friends ever, Meredith.

3. One of the funniest and craziest people I know, Emily...um, I mean, Micah.

and 4. My wonderful, beautiful, supportive sister, Jennifer.

(Maybe this will make you update your blog, Jen.)

And there you have it.

"Wordless" Wednesday

2009-01-07T13:45:00.005-06:00

I'm already very musical.

Bowling with Daddy at Aunt Sarah's 15th Birthday party!

What's a blog without a butt shot?

The doll house and tree are bigger than Sophie.

Love my Golden Books! Sweet Aunt Tammy!

I love Aunt Tammy's piano-playing.

She also makes toys do the funniest things!

Granddad is so fun!

Awwww....Oh, wait. SOPHIE!

Gloating over Mickey's defeat.

Never intimidated by the boys.

If you're into that sort of thing...

2008-12-31T18:47:00.005-06:00

It's been a long time since I've been into vampires (a lot of you know where this is going) and honestly, I can't say I'm 'into' them now. However, I am always looking for a good fiction book. After reading Deathly Hallows, and Brisingr, I was stumped at what to venture to next. I've blogged about this part before. See I got tagged.

So, moving on, some months back, my dad and stepmom came over for dinner and told me about the phenomenon of Twilight...asking me if I'd heard about the book. It's a book about a vampire (is what I remember the description to be) and I had no idea that hundreds of thousands of people, especially girls, were going nuts over this book series. I just kind of laughed afterwards, but now I know that it's more a love story than anything. A quest for goodness when you feel that you are a monster. Stuff like that. Back then, though, um...what, 8 months ago???...I just thought, "Huh, vampires. Haven't read anything about the undead since I was 16 years old and completely enthralled with Anne Rice and the Vampire Lestat." So, I tucked it somewhere so deep into my subconscious that I forgot about Twilight at all.

Then, I got onto a Harry Potter kick (this happens every 6 months or so) after watching the new trailers for Half-blood Prince and decided to rent Goblet of Fire. After watching it, I came across some new movie trailers and noticed Cedric Diggory (from Goblet of Fire, aka Robert Pattinson) in the trailer for Twilight. Huh. That rang some far-off bell.

I began reading about the movie and thought, "What the heck. I need a new book."

I've never had a harder time renting a book from the library. Because I was number 36 on a waiting list for Twilight, I began reading an old book I'd read a year ago (Islam Revealed) and had almost given up on getting a new book at all. Then, well, this is not very good of me and I definitely don't go around suggesting this, but I found the book online. Fully uploaded. Honestly...I'm serious...I really didn't think anything about it being a bootleg until Hubby mentioned it. I just looked up, 'Read Twilight online' and when a website popped up, I thought, "Oh, good, I can start reading it now." I can be really dense like that sometimes.

Ok, wow. I'm way off subject...kind of. Arrgh.

So, I read not the first, the second, and the third, but also the fourth and part of the fifth (legally) in a matter of a few weeks. Last Saturday, I saw the movie Twilight with Nikkilicious (sorry, Nikki, I don't know why I do that to your name) and well, it was pretty darn good. It could have been SO much longer and I would have happily sat through it. I was a little surprised that it was over 2 hours. That good? Yeah. Yeah, it kinda was. Beautiful cinematography. Everything was so green and vivid and I LOVED the baseball scene. Made me laugh outloud.

So, now realizing that Cedric...um, Robert Pattinson...is a pretty good actor, I began looking at some of his other work. And now I am psyched about a new movie he's in that is coming out in 2009. NO, I'm not talking about New Moon (Part 2 of the Twilight Saga), although I will be excited to see what direction that movie takes and hope it's even better. No, I'm talking about How To Be. It looks hysterical. And being from the Boom-a-Rang Generation (Gen x), it's right up my alley. Looks to be a promising little Indie movie. AND....ta da! It has Robert Pattinson.

However, I have to warn those who gush and blush and otherwise drool on themselves at even the thought of the British actor...he's NOT an Edward in this movie. He's not even a Cedric. He's...weird. And "normal." And quirky. I like it...if you're into that sort of thing...and I am.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

2008-12-21T12:42:00.006-06:00

I just had to make a quick journal entry about Ham's new dainty ways. (Side note: I will not say "girly" to describe dainty behavior after reading the definition of girly, which says, "Weak, timid, or effeminate. Used of men.") No...don't like that much.

So, Ham is dainty...yet unbelievably tough. People often look at me with surprised loathing when Ham sprawls out after tripping over something (usually her own feet...much like her momma) and I barely bat an eyelash. She's just too much rough and tumble for me to react to every little stumble or fall. I'm not mean, I just know her.

So, indication #1 that she is becoming more dainty: She is now into bows. She likes to carry them around and she won't take them out of her hair if we put them there. (A big IF, because I usually don't think to accessorize her, although I do think it's adorable.)

The true test of daintiness (def: Delicately beautiful or charming; squeamish), came this morning when I was not paying much attention to Ham. I knew she was looking out of the window waiting for the neighbor's cat to make his appearance, so I didn't think much of it when she started whining as if to complain. I thought, "OK, she sees something she wants, but can't get to it. Or Tux (the cat) hasn't shown up yet." (I usually ignore whining unless she says, "Momma" and then signs 'help.') The whining soon increased and became more of a whimper. Before I thought to look, she began a pitiful sob and I could tell she was in some sort of pain.

I walked over to her (I try not to react 'violently' to her possibly, already painful, circumstances) and asked, "What is it, baby?" She stood there with tears running down her face, clutching a ball in one hand, whimpering and sobbing as if frozen with fear. Since she was standing in between the kitchen table and the window, I thought, "Oh my gosh, she really hurt herself." I thought maybe she banged her head on the table or something. I even scanned her free hand, now frozen with shock against the window, to make sure she hadn't gotten it stuck somehow.

I looked around and it only took a second to find the source of her horror.... A light brown, inch-sized cockroach. Still living, although barely moving, twitching its disgusting, whiplike antennae toward my baby girl.

For some reason, I began to mimic her horror and took great offense to this parasite...Ok, technically, it's not a parasite. I rushed to her aid with a paper towel that just so happened, thankfully, to be on the kitchen table and crushed the intruder. Ham looked up at me with almost as much horror as the roach's appearance had etched across her face. I almost felt bad for the little bugger...hahaha...the roach...bug.

I went against my usual compassion for anything living and did not feel bad for killing the nasty pest, but instead, said to Ham, "It's OK Baby, Momma got it. It's gone. It went 'bye-bye.'" I took it and flushed it and when I came back, Ham was still frozen, wide-eyed. I think she was just as surprised at her reaction as I was.

I held out my arms and she gave me a big hug and then toddled off to her basket of toys. It was as if nothing ever happened.

Today's reaction to the roach was a far cry from the reaction I saw on her face about 8 months ago.... The one I remember was an expression of immense satisfaction, as two little roach legs were dangling out of her mouth.

She's come a long way.

Guess who's using the potty???

2008-12-12T15:54:00.011-06:00

So, Hubby has been trying to convince me to try and potty train Ham for quite some time (having read several articles on infants being able to be potty trained).

I knew the fact that babies in other countries do NOT use diapers and are able to 'go' in designated places outside their homes by the time they are 8-9 months old. Ham's 14 months old, so, why not.

Welp. She's doing it. Seriously. Since about two weeks ago, every time you put her on the potty, she strains a little, goes and then gets the biggest smile on her face. The cutest part? She'll sometimes reach over and tear off some toilet paper and rub her leg with it, then throw it behind her. SOOOO funny.

And, last week, she poopied on the potty for the first time. I just about fell over. She went #1 and I was about to get her off the potty and she clenched her fists and screeched a protest, so I was like, "OK, you're not done." Then she pushed a little and plop, plop. Too much information, I'm sure. I don't care. My 14-month-old can poop on the potty.

So now, she can wear training pants (not pull-ups, mind you...real cotton training pants...without that nasty rubber diaper cover) for hours at a time as long as we take her to the potty once every 30-60 minutes. Weird.

Here's a picture of her triumph...and a few just for fun in her undies.

Always, with the tongue. And holding Elmo for reassurance.

Not a care in the world.

Ok, yeah, so I'm wearing hand-me-down, BOYS, training pants from my 2nd cousin, Vinny. AND!?

If I didn't know her better, I'd say she was flaunting it.
OK, this is just TOO Grandmom McLeod. Hahahaha.

Now we're just waiting for her to break out in a Risky Business-type dance. I can see it now, Hubby and I are innocently eating breakfast and Ham comes skidding into the kitchen with socks and undies on, complete with plastic mixing spoon in hand, belting out Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.

She's a little more modest than that, it seems...when she knows she being photographed. Although, there is a reason I dubbed her "Ham":

A Tribute...Wordless Wednesday

2008-12-03T12:56:00.009-06:00

My sister and others do this and I think it's a great idea. Not only does it gaurantee a post from me, it also helps me not have to think of anything witty to say and keeps people up-to-date.

Here are a few pictures for this new tradition: Wordless Wednesday

Just Found Out That I Got Tagged...

2008-11-29T12:21:00.006-06:00

Hubby is working from home now and sets up his computer in front of my computer, so I rarely get online anymore...especially during the day. And who has the energy to stay up late at night to surf the Net...oh yeah, my husband. :)

Anyway, with that said, Allyson 'tagged' me 21 days ago and because I haven't been keeping up with blogs, I didn't know it until now.

I'm requested to write about 6 things that make me happy. Here we go...in no particular order.

Like Allyson (who has twins that are five days older than Ham) sleep, in any shape or form, is one thing that makes me very happy. Unfortunately, I don't think I will ever be able to sleep as good as I did when I was in my first trimester with Ham (I would literally pass out and it felt so good).

Family. Oh my goodness. I don't know what I would do without my dad, Augusta, mom, sister, Michael and the kids. But then there is Hubby's side of the family which is about 100 people total (that's just aunts, uncles, cousins and the grandparents).

The sunshine. On days like today when it's a really nice 58 degrees, but misty rain is coming down and the sky is that whitish gray, I would love to see the sun peak through. Spring is my favorite season. I always feel more alive, positive, and open-minded in the spring.

Animals. From little squirrels chattering and chasing each other on our deck to the majesty of a lion or the playfulness of a dolphin, animals have always made me happy. Kittens have to be my favorite domesticated animal, but you probably won't catch us ever having a pet. (A FAR cry from when I was growing up and said that when I was older, I wanted a pick-up truck and three dogs in the back).

Laughter. When I see anyone laughing, it makes me happy. I love laughing at myself and doing dumb things or saying really off-the-wall things and then realizing it was pretty funny. I love to hear babies laugh. Of course, I think my daughter's laugh is the most beautiful and joyful noise I've ever heard.

Dreaming. Now this can be tricky. Ask anyone close to me and they can tell you I have some pretty strange, always vivid dreams. However, I still think they are the coolest things to try and decipher and it's really neat to see how everything you've been thinking seems to play out in a dream. For instance, the other day I finished a book Brisingr, had just read a bunch about this new movie made from a best-selling book of the same name Twilight and had just watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. (As you can tell, I have a certain favorite genre, fantasy/adventure). So, anyway, I dreamed about vampires (Twilight) who could cast spells (Potter and Brisingr) and rode on dragons (Brisingr). I thought it was cool. Weird, but cool.

And, I have to add a 7th thing that makes me happy because the sixth one reminded me that there is nothing like a good book. I love to read and always have. Nothing sparks my creativity and imagination more than a good fiction book. I like non-fiction, too, but it's not the same.

OK, I tag Mer, my sister, and Emily G.

When Can I Proclaim "Genius in the Hiz-ouse?!"

2008-11-22T12:41:00.011-06:00

No, I'm not talking about my husband, Genius #1. I am talking about Ham, formerly Peanut, presently One-Who-Amazes-Us-Daily.

Every mom thinks their child is a genius, I know, I know. I'm no different than the biased mom who thinks that a child who can count to three is a prodigy, even when they find them with half a roach hanging out of their mouths. (They know good protein when they see it!) LOL

Everyone that is close to us knows we teach Ham American Sign-Language. She has a sign vocabulary of about 20 words and can also speak several different words. I've said that before. So, to reiterated, we know that signing is not hindering her speech as some studies and sceptics say. However, I tend to forget that not all children are taught signs and that it's still kind of rare. However, for us, it has become a way of life. Not to say that we aren't still enthralled with our little baby girl, but her communicating her needs and wants with us has become second-nature and I forget that some people will think it's weird or cool that she can sign, "More fish crackers, please."

For instance, we have an uncle, Fun Uncle Anthony, that still makes jokes about her and asks her, "Hey, can you sign, 'I want to eat my head'?" He's hysterical. At his house this past weekend, he was routinely making fun of us for teaching Ham all these things and making her a 'freak' and his little baby boy (who is 6 weeks older than Ham) did a sign. I said, "Look, look! See, he can sign!" Uncle Anthony (kidding, of course) mockingly said, "Yeah...'chicken'. Great." We just all started laughing.

However, we are surprised when Ham takes the initiative in learning new things or pointing out things we have not taught her. Here is a twist-tie that she picked up yesterday while Hubby and I were talking:

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but to me, it's a twist-tie. And when Ham had it in her little hand and started to put it in her mouth, I said, "Whatcha got there?" She immediately, without hesitation, signed "fish." I took the twist-tie from her, and saw what you now see in this picture above.

OK. I mean, I know it looks like a little fish, but...HOW does a 13 month-old put that together? They really are smarter than we think.

GENIUS!

Next, we're setting up ink-blot tests. LOL

NOTE: For those of you concerned that Hubby and I may be forcing this stuff on our precious child, please be aware that Ham walks up to us and signs "Baby video" when she wants to watch the sign language video we rented from the library and she gets giddy when we understand what she is trying to communicate. She's a girl. She wants to be heard. :)

Heavy Heart

2008-11-17T13:52:00.005-06:00

I know that this world is going downhill. There is nothing that can redeem the evil deeds done by men and women all over the world except God Almighty Himself. Still, I am appalled at the changes that are expected to be made under the new President. Obama is so Pro-Choice that I'm afraid people like George Tiller and his abortion mill will go unchallenged because they are providing women with 'life-saving' abortions.

I look at my daughter, pictures of unborn babies, my nieces and nephew, cousins, all the children I see every day, and wonder how bad it has to get before people understand the atrocities that go on at abortion clinics.

This is the main reason I could not vote for Obama. As a mother, as someone who has been touched with abortion personally and witnessed it's destructive powers in friends and family, I cannot support someone who supports the slaughtering of tens of thousands of babies A DAY. SUPPORTS it. This isn't someone who just says women have the right to choose. He is planning on us, as tax-payers, to continue funding abortion clinics and Planned Parenthood.

WHY?? I don't think that Barack Obama understands the heavy consequences of sex before marriage OR abortion. His idea of helping a child (his own, even) is for them to get an abortion if they get pregnant so that they will not be 'punished with a baby.' Hear his own words here. If you find that this video is too 'biased,' there are many more where it just states his views plainly. You will see that they match up.

He even goes so far as to say abortions help men and the audience LAUGHS. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. I just can't stand this. I do not believe that God will stand idly by and continue to 'bless' this country with a leader who so adamantly supports the 'spilling of innocent blood' (see Proverbs 6:16-19).

Obama said "the first thing I'd do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act."[16] That bill "would invalidate virtually all state and federal limitations on abortion, and would make partial-birth abortion legal again."[17] Indeed, Obama was upset with the decision of the Supreme Court not to strike down the law passed by the United States Congress to prohibit partial-birth abortion, believing that partial-birth abortion is guaranteed right of the Constitution and that there should be no ability to legislate against it. This from the mouth of a family man who calls his own daughters 'miracles.' WHAT!? What makes them different from other babies?

Obama recently referred to his "Muslim faith."[24]
Obama said the Muslim call to prayer is "one of the prettiest sounds on Earth at sunset," and recited "with a first-class Arabic accent" the opening lines: Allah is Supreme! ... I witness that there is no god but Allah ...."[25]
Obama stated that the autobiography of Malcolm X, a Nation of Islam leader who became a Muslim, inspired him in his youth.[26]
Obama raised nearly $1 million and campaigned for a Kenyan presidential candidate who had a written agreement with Muslim leaders promising to convert Kenya to an Islamic state that bans Christianity.[27]

Obama unabashedly explained how he became “churched” in a 2007 speech:
“It’s around that time [while working as an organizer for the Developing Communities Project (DCP) of the Calumet Community Religious Conference (CCRC) in Chicago] that some pastors I was working with came around and asked if I was a member of a church. “If you’re organizing churches,” they said, “it might be helpful if you went to a church once in a while. And I thought, “I guess that makes sense.” Are you kidding me!? He all but admits that he just went to church for the election votes.

Look I know that "Bush" waged war on Iraq and that hundreds of thousands of people have died because of terrorism and this war. I use the term 'Bush' loosely because I don't know of anyone (even if they are against the war now) who didn't feel justified for going to war at the time. Indeed, many Americans demanded justice after 9/11. However, I do not feel that Bush lied to Americans (especially knowingly) or covered up anything he believed. What you saw was what you got, and for the most part, I would back him as one of the greatest, strongest Presidents of history. It took a lot of guts to do what he did. And don't lie and say you didn't think 9/11 deserved justice!

I don't sit on my cushy sofa and support the innocent being killed, tortured, raped, or interrogated by egotistical soldiers that need to be punished for their war crimes. I am disgusted at the pictures and propaganda that support killing ANYONE. I personally have a heart for Iranians and as I write this, there is a huge repentance among the young in Iran that may very well save their country and future generations from God's wrath! We could actually learn from their youth who despise Islam as it is today and want something better for their country.

OK, so I've not even begun to say how much I am against abortion, but this is my place I can vent my frustrations as well as record my joys. Today, for whatever reason, I am infuriated by this country and its people who turn a blind eye to murdered children, but are haughty about saving a dying planet by going green.

Sign Language vs. Talking

2008-11-15T12:54:00.002-06:00

Welp, Ham is learning the art of American Sign Language with a vengeance! She is addicted to her baby videos that we rented from the library. I don't know what we are going to do when they have to go back....again. Yes, I have rented them twice already. I think we should have stuck with teaching her everyday signs with regular objects because she can be pretty incessant about signing, "Baby Video." It's cute, though. We just don't give in every time.

She can sign so many things now. Here is a list:
Apple, shirt, banana, lion, monkey, car, thank you, milk, baby, video, music, fish, tree, dinosaur (I know, SOOO important, right?), doggy, cat, water, drink, cereal, cracker, socks, shoes, hot, hat, diaper, daddy, share, you're welcome, please, kisses, balloon, ball, all done, elephant, train, panda, lion, giraffe, music, sleep, night night...OK, I'm sure there are more, but you get the picture.

She can also now say:
Dog ("daw"), hot ("ot"), hat ("at") which can also be 'cat', ball ("baw"), baby ("bebe"), Aunt Jen ("bin"), Isabella ("beda"), Mommy, Daddy, and Bebe pronounced 'Bay-Bay ("beba").

Hubby and I have been talking a bit about making our own videos for her. We have read differing ideas about sign language and babies talking late. For instance, if you show your child how to sign words, but do not speak the words as well, then the child is more likely to continue signing instead of learning how to speak the words as well. However, studies show that if a baby (or child) learns sign language coupled with learning the word and the spelling (a video often shows the word they are signing), a child usually talks sooner, but also can recognize words sooner...leading to reading at an earlier age. Now that is something we can stand behind!

We aren't all about making Ham into some sort of freak of nature, who sits around reading Pride and Prejudice at the age of 3, but we are into fostering good reading habits and communication. Both of us love to read and it's something we want Ham to enjoy...if she so chooses.

I remember many kids in my first and second-grade classes who would cry if the teacher asked them to read at story time. I always felt sad for them (and mad, if the teacher badgered them in any way) and would volunteer to read so that they didn't feel pressured. I never felt haughty or better than anyone, but I just couldn't imagine a life without being able to read on my own. Because of this, I have also thought about joining a program that helps children (and adults) learn to read.

That being said, Ham is only 13 months old and she has lagged in some ways (whatever that means) by only having 3 teeth at a year old, but she has excelled in others. I think that when we see our children loving something and wanting to learn, we should make it a top priority to sit down with them and guide them in their endeavors. That is what my parents did with me and I am so thankful for it.

So, there you go.

Humble Beginnings and an Anniversary

2008-11-07T23:08:00.009-06:00

Welp, I have set up a small workspace in the corner of our kitchen. You may think, "That's not much to look at," and you'd be quite right to have that thought. However, as much as I would love to have a room where I could paint anything on the walls, decorate it with inspiring words, drawings, clippings, etc., this is what will have to do for now.

It's my Creative Corner

I will say this about my fabulous, supportive husband (whom I am celebrating our 5th Anniversary with today). We have a spare bedroom that doesn't get used for anything but storage. It's really too small to put our old queen size bed in there, so if company did stay over, they'd have one twin bed and a blow-up mattress to put on the floor. That being said, we have left room for our old kitchen table, a chair, a small 11" t.v. we never use (which is sitting on an ancient, laminated wood, rolling t.v. stand...seriously, I think this was from when I was a kid in the 70's. I'm sure of it.)

So anyway, my husband has said several times that he would love for me to use that spare bedroom (I'm sure that having my arts and crafts spread all over the house has nothing to do with the generosity, of course). I have talked about painting it a pale lavender, hanging little pixies made of paper, felt, beading, and wire from little swings I'd fashion to the ceiling. Kind of like a hanging mobile, but with little girl and boy fairies. Like this one I found online:

Each time I have a hair-brained scheme like that, he has supported me 100%. Of course, though, all this takes time. And money.

Now, I'm sure that it wouldn't be expensive to paint the room, just time-consuming, and then it would even be cute as-is. It's just...I haven't done it yet.

My first order of business will be to paint a reproduction of this original I painted a few months ago. The one below is 16x20 and my mom wants a much larger one to hang in her main room. I think it's 30x24 or something.

This one is being sold on etsy.com as we speak. I don't know if it will sell for my asking price, but I didn't think the Owl in the Sky With Diamonds would sell for what it did, either. There's always hope.

Here is a couple of close-ups of this painting. I was really happy with the way it turned out, considering I used acrylic paints. I put the paint on so thick that I had to use a hair dryer on the background before I could continue with the flowers. I didn't know that heat would make the paint bubble, so there are some cool textures you don't usually get with acrylics.

So, there's that.

Turning a corner

2008-11-06T10:17:00.000-06:00

Things have changed a bit around the McLeod household. For one thing, Hubby has been working at home every day due to changes in his company. He's not complaining and neither am I...it's been a long time since I've been able to put Ham down for a nap and run errands by myself. It's a lot easier on my neck and back to have a strong, helpful man around, that is for sure. We're still working out some logistical things, though, like the huge distraction Ham is to him...albeit a cute one.

However, we love having Daddy at home and now Ham insists on being put down in her crib by the both of us. At night, she has even stopped calling out to only me. Her sing-song voice is now, "Mama, mama? Dada, dada, dad-ee, dad-ee? Mama..?" You get the idea. It's kind of nice, for me anyway. Still breaks my heart though. I hate to hear her cry. I'm one of those mom's that feels like I need to be tied to the bedpost to keep me from going into her room if she cries longer than 60 seconds.

Ham now has three teeth showing! The bottom right central incisor came in first (spotted by my sister about a month ago). Had my sister not taken a peek, I might have never known it was coming. I had been joking that day with Ham, asking, "When are you going to get some teeth, kiddo?" Welp, I asked for it.

So, within a week, her top right central incisor began peeking through. It's weird, though, because the top tooth is now showing more than the bottom one. She has since started cutting her top left CI and I'm pretty sure she is now cutting a molar...whether it's upper or lower, I'm not sure. I can also see a canine reaching the tip of her gums. She'll be all snaggle-toothed. So, the drool abounds and she has her hands in her mouth a lot more.

I will say that she has been an angel compared to what could be a very painful experience for us all. I have given her Motrin when I knew that she was suffering and sometimes I give it to her before bed just to ward off her waking up because of pain (she woke up four times one night, screaming).

Poor thing. There are always trade-offs. She may be late getting her teeth, but they seem to all want to push through at the same time. I don't know how painful that is for Ham, but she has been a gem. Some days she is just quieter and a little more reserved. She still freely gives kisses, but BEWARE! She will try to bite you sometimes if you don't pull your lips away quickly enough!

Here is a chart of the eruption (love how they call it that) of first teeth and the common ages in which they come.
Some days I miss my excitable, happy-go-lucky, grinning little girl, but I know she always comes back as soon as a tooth pops through. She still gets giggle fits and LOVES when she can 'chase' her cousins around the yard in Mommy's arms. She especially loves it when they turn around and yell, 'boo!' That always gets a belly laugh.

Ham in a costume contest

2008-11-05T17:48:00.003-06:00

She is so behind in votes that I doubt she has a chance, but if you could, please vote for Ham! You can vote for her once a day and it's super-easy. Some kids already have over 3000 votes! This contest just started on October 15th! I don't know how they did it. So, anyway, she can at least be voted on up until Novemeber 15th.

Go here: AND REMEMBER, VOTE ONCE A DAY!!
http://www.thecutekid.com/ckgallery/votemypic/email/4477

How do you vote, you ask? Well, unfortunately, you have to sign up for the CuteKid site. The address below will take you to the sign-up form. However, GOOD NEWS, you can opt-out of any future mailings. I know it's a lot to ask with all the information on the internet. One option for the really cautious at heart (or you just don't want your information out there), make a new e-mail address on yahoo, hotmail, etc. and don't put in your real name or anything.

Just remember the e-mail address you entered and your password and VOILA, you can vote without getting mail in your main e-mail account. I know, I'm brilliant. ;) Anyway, if you just don't want to go through the hassle, I understand. Thanks anyway!

Fall Festivals/Halloween parties

2008-10-30T10:50:00.005-05:00

We have now been to two Fall Festivals and one Halloween party...all before the official date is even here! We got some great pictures, though. At the end are pictures of Ham in her costume.

Here is Ham enjoying some balloons, which she calls 'balls.'

Bella got her hair spray-painted pink with white polka-dots while MIII got balls that sparked and applied his daredevil side by scaling the inflatable rock wall.

Here is Andy the Armadillo (????), which Ham just adored.

Ham on the Valleydale train. Ham's future husband.

Our friend Morgan was a fairy, too. Grandpa makes Ham fly!

Ham loves Aunt Sarah Grace!

The Morning of the Party

2008-10-18T18:16:00.002-05:00

Just a little video...

Ham's Birthday Party

2008-10-14T12:22:00.010-05:00

Wow, what a great time we had! Thank you to all who were able to come out and celebrate a year of Ham's sweet, little life. The party could not have gone better and I know she had a blast. Hey, if she can stay up from 1-6PM without even fussing, and still managing to giggle and open presents, then I know she is having a good time.

The only thing that didn't quite work out as planned, was the cake. If you remember, I had said it was supposed to be a blue and purple butterfly. Well, when I got to Wal-Mart, they told me that the cake I ordered was under Disney copyright and they couldn't do it without all the Hannah Montana paraphernalia. Then they said, "Oh, and btw, we couldn't do yellow cake (didn't give me a reason why), so it's white cake instead."

OK. Yeah. Could've called me to tell me these things. I started to stress a little more when I saw that the cake was a GAUDY hot pink butterfly with weird purple markings and a black body with orange dots. It sat not-so-daintily on a brown branch. At least they did a cake, though!! I thought they were going to say, "So, we couldn't do a cake for you." Now that could have been a small coronary. (Please know that I'm kidding. There are much bigger things in the world to worry about, right?)

However, I decided that if I was going to let this stress me out, I just had better call off the whole thing because it wasn't worth the rising blood pressure.... That is to say, I just smiled at the bakers, said, "Thank you for your time and energy. I'm sure it will taste great (and it did)" and took the high road.

Let me just say, the old me would have not been so gracious. Knowing that Jesus is my Lord and that people really do the best they can (most of the time), and knowing that it would not fix anything if I blew my top, it just made letting it go a little easier.

Nevertheless, I am a paying customer, and my daddy taught me not to be a doormat, so I phoned the Wal-Mart bakery and told the head baker that a call to the customer is always necessary when making changes to someone's order. In turn, for my graciousness, they apologized and said I was right. They thanked me for calling this to their attention.

I really would have taken a gift certificate for $25 in groceries or something. I hope they know that. :) They did give me a 'baby cake' (one that Ham could mess up) for $.01, so that was cool. (I think they do that for everyone, though.)

Here are a few pictures of the day:

Ever since we bought our new mattress and got a Mylar balloon from Mattress King, Ham has loved balloons. And to think, she used to be afraid of them!

Enjoying the twins. I heard Ham was feeding them goldfish crackers.

She didn't quite know what to do with the cake. Mommy helped by placing her hand in it. Then Ham proceeded to try and feed it back to me. She seemed concerned about her hands being messy.

We greatly appreciated so many of our friends coming out to celebrate with us. I think our friend The Minister (the guy on the left) took as many pictures as Genius has in a year!

We were especially excited to see Andrea and Wendy, who were passing by to put a beautiful flower arrangement on their mom's grave. Thank you for even thinking about us! We pray for you all daily.

Ham was especially good at opening presents. (Must be from all the practice she's had with ripping up Mommy's magazines.)

Ham with a pink Mr. Hoot Hoot and a Kiss-Me Elmo.... I think she has already gotten the hang of the kissing part! And she kisses Mr. Hoot Hoot every night before bed. AWWWWWWWW.

And what would the party be without my 2-year-old niece instructing Ham in the many ways to eat candy? I'm not sure if my niece is tattling on her at this point or telling everyone that Ham needs a diaper change.

I am in the process of editing a video of the party, but for the time being, I hope you have enjoyed the pictures.

Thanks again, everyone, for making the day just perfect!

This is dedicated to my three moms, two dads, sister, Grandmom and Granddad McLeod, Grandmama and Dzia Dzia, Alicia for coming all the way from NASHVILLE, Allen and Nikki Moore for coming from Georgia with TWO kids in tow, my sister's and brother's-in-law (Can't wait for Ham's new cousin to be born!), my nieces and nephew, our macho guy friends who still like babies, Uncle Jeff for making homemade strawberry ice cream HELLO!!, and all the friends we love so dearly.

And to Gwen Brobst (Andrea and Wendy's mom).

She would have really liked being there.

The Eve of THE Party

2008-10-10T23:21:00.007-05:00

Well, today I had a few moments where I thought my head would explode. It's like I had everything filed away in my brain and a little sting would come and zap me and all the files would fly everywhere and I'd be standing there going, "Wha...? Um, whaaaa..?"

I need to report this to the Smallwoods officials. I don't think stings should be so far away from the watchful eye of Mr. Fox.

So, I got a bit disgruntled today, but it was OK. I have one fool-proof weapon against the blues, the sniffles, the outerspaceyness (emphasis on "spacey"), and the grrrrrrs. It's called Ham. We likes her. We likes her a lot.

Most everything that needs to be done for the party tomorrow is done. Balloons are all blown up with pretty hand-curled ribbon to don the pillars and tables around the Senior Center. LOL

Every thing is pretty much ready. Chicken fingers, chips and dips, veggies and fruit, drinks, and of course...the cake. Oh, oh, and party favors! I'm REALLY excited about the party favors. Kids get one kind and adults get something different. I hope everyone likes their partying gift. :)

I ordered the cake from Wal-Mart this morning and I'll pick it up around 1PM. I had no "theme" planned for the party. I went though the catalog to find something cute, but not a complicated design and ended up asking for the artwork from a Hannah Montana pull-apart (not the one shown--that's just so you know what a pull-apart 'cake' is--) on half a sheet cake instead of cupcakes. The colors are Hannah Montana's signature purple and blue and the art is a sweet butterfly (I asked them to leave out all the Hannah Montana propaganda). It will be yellow cake with white icing. I hope that will be satisfactory to all.

We discovered that Ham does not like chocolate cake (we did various test to confirm, but the one that sealed it was when she reached her whole hand in her mouth to retrieve an unwanted bite of devil's food cake.) (Weirdo.)

She will have her own little mini-cake to demolish, devour, or disgard, in any way she pleases.

We've been singing "Happy Birthday" to her for days so hopefully, she won't freak out tomorrow. Ham's not a big freaker-outer, so, we're probably good. But I've even been putting a cupcake infront of her with a lit candle (supervised, of course) and singing to her and then blowing the candle out. She clapped 2 out of 5 times. She danced the last three times. So, we'll see.

Wanna do shots? Oh, wait...NOOOOO!

2008-10-09T11:24:00.003-05:00

So, I took Sophie to her 12-month check up and poor baby had to get five shots on her birthday!

She did pretty good, though. Because she loves music so much, I played her Stray Cat Strut from The Stray Cats on my phone (Thank you, Genius!) and she was dancing and clapping through most of the visit.

Then two scrub-wearing nurses came in, laid her down with her feet dangling over the table. She was shaking the phone joyfully when they said, "Mama, can you get her hands, please," and then it hit her....

Five sharp things were slamming into her tender flesh (I'm not kidding, these women are ~~brutal~~ fast) and she LOST it. I mean, not break-your-heart, whimpers (although it did break my heart), but MAD, get-the-heck-away-from-me, sobs. She was kicking at the nurses and I even had trouble holding her little hands down. I felt so sorry for her on one hand and on the other hand, I thought, "Wow. She isn't going to be pushed around."

However, 60 seconds went by and she was fine.... Grabbing lollipops out of a plastic Frankenstein head that screamed and cackled when she stuck her hand in to get the candy. Her mouth would drop open and she would laugh out loud, basking in the attention of all the adoring, clapping, ooh-ing and ahh-ing nurses...with big fat tears still hanging on her cheeks and two huge Halloween Band-Aids stuck to each of her tiny thighs.

I am so in love with her.

Happy 1st Birthday, Ham!

2008-10-08T18:32:00.006-05:00

Our little lamb is a one-year-old. Some would say she's not a baby anymore...yeah, say that to my face. I dare you. This is how I see her...this is how I will always see her:

Hubby, Ham and I went over to my dad and stepmom's house last night to celebrate a birthday for Ham and my stepmom, Gugu (pronounced gŭ-gŭ, like in the word must). It had been planned for several days and I thought it would just be the five of us. (Before anyone thinks I'm complaining, I'm not.)

So when we pulled up to their house and I saw my sister and brother-in-law's cars, I was stumped. I looked at hubby and asked, "Is that my sister's van? Did you know they were going to be here?" He didn't. Then I said, in all my intellectual glory, "I wonder if Dad and Gugu know they are here." Duh.

It was great. Dinner was perfect, Dad and Gugu. The kids were hysterical. My sister had Ham doubling over laughing.

She got a great Pound-a-Ball toy that all the kids wanted to whack. Ham was content on letting her cousins hit the balls and was just cracking up at them. She has been playing with it all morning. She loves it.

I was so glad my sister was there because the day before, she had explained to me that she couldn't come to Ham's party this weekend. I knew she felt awful about having to work that day, but I tried to reassure her that it was OK. However, I am so so glad that they planned to be there last night. It made all the difference to be able to share that with all of them.

THANK YOU!

Blinded by the light

2008-10-07T09:40:00.005-05:00

I made an eye appointment for Ham last week and she went to see my optometrist a week before her first birthday. Is there something wrong with her eyes? No, thank goodness. Does there have to be something wrong with a baby's eyes before going to the eye doctor? Goodness, no.

My doctor, Dr. Hammonds (the coolest optometrist, ever), is part of an incredible and generous program called InfantSEE. (Please click on the link and it will help you find a doctor in your area.)

This FREE program is for babies from 6 months to one year (so make that appointment NOW). It's FREE. Did you hear me? FREE! Yes, I wrote that correctly. FREE. No copay. Nadda. Nuthin.'

Now, I'll say this. Ham is not big on anyone messing with her eyes. I guess no one really is, right? She didn't cry when they put the patch over one eye (so cute) to test her vision or dilated her eyes. However, once her eyes were dilated, she did NOT want a light shown in them.

So, the experts at Eye Care Associates, Hoover were amazing at getting her to cooperate. They used scientifically proven methods like turning her upside down, using every toy imaginable, and finally, two eye care techs, Dr. Cool and I sung, "See See My Playmate" at the top of our voices (not to badly...although we didn't know all the words). I wish I had video taped it. That's what it took to finally get her to sit there ~~happily humming along~~ shell-shocked at our ~~genius~~ ridiculousness. Besides, she loves music.

This program must be taken advantage of before your child's first birthday. And let me tell you, it's not dumb to take a baby to the eye doctor. Studies show that many eye problems can be corrected if caught early on. Just ask my aunt, my nephew and my cousin! Or your eye doctor.

So, get out there and get your little one an appointment. Or be proactive and tell your friends and family about this program. You can't give an excuse to FREE!

BTW, I think the first time I saw Dr. Hammonds was when I was sixteen, on the week of Halloween. I had my hair in a bazillion little braids, wearing a floppy purple, crushed velvet hat, and yin-yang earrings. Yeah. I'm not sure what I was supposed to be. A hippie maybe? Probably.

However, Dr. Hammonds said, "Cool earrings" and I felt immediately accepted. That was huge for a scrawny little girl who felt like a complete outcast in her teenage years....

Um, no wonder with outfits like that, huh? LOL

Sick, but not tired.

2008-09-30T12:55:00.005-05:00

Welp, it was inevitable...I guess. I am sick. It started about a week ago with painful headaches that I knew could only be sinuses. I get migraines, but this was different. My whole head felt like it was in a vice grip. My throat hurt, my right ear hurt, even my teeth felt like they hurt.

Then, the other day, it began to drain. Lovely. Now my throat hurts even worse and somehow, even though I know some of the pressure HAS to be relieved, my cheeks feel like I've stuffed them full of pinecones or something. Right over my cheekbones. OUCH! The cough hasn't gotten bad, but it's there. That "Oh I need to cough, but if I start, I might not stop" kind of thing is going on.

However, regardless of that, life is good. Life is always too good to deserve. God is faithful and He never disappoints. Even when things are tough, I know that He is in control. I'm so glad He is Lord over all, because I know that I couldn't do anything without Him.

Hubby and I stayed over at my mom's, Bebe, while she stayed over at my sister's with the three kiddos. Originally, hubby and I were supposed to housesit and stay with our neices and nephew, but for some reason, the crib was not brought over there and so we used the crib at Bebe's. Poor Bebe. I don't think she knew what she was getting in to. But she did GREAT!

Hubby and I took turns staying over at my sister's throughout the day when I had to go feed and put Ham down for a nap. One day, my oldest neice came with me back to Bebe's and we drew pictures and laughed at my horrible attempt to draw Yoda. We were giggling so hard and every time I would draw an ear or an eye, I'd say, "WOAH, that is way off. Oh goodness. This is bad," and my 7 year-old neice would just laugh and laugh. She said it looked like a rabbit at first and the end result looked like Baby Yoda. It was bad.

Ham did OK at night. The first night she cried for an hour and then woke up at least 5 times yelling out, "Ma ma? Ma ma?" She began to scream at one point, so I gave in and wen't to feed her. That got her thinking she would get to nurse every time she woke up, so that wasn't good.

But, you know what...? This was not a regular thing for her and she was in a strange place, so I gave in...all night. And I'm not ashamed of it. :) It was about getting sleep. When we got back home yesterday, I laid her down in her crib for a nap and she spread out her arms and legs and got a big smile on her face. She slept for two hours. Monday night she only woke up once and last night, she didn't wake up at all.

So, a note to all first-time parents like me: Know that sometimes, the schedule is not going to be perfect. Sometimes the schedule will be completely thrown out of the window (Ham went from 9AM-4PM one day). It will be OK. The baby is not messed up forever.

I'm so glad I know as many moms as I do. It's helped out tremendously. Thank you Jennifer, Mary, Karen, Tricia, Mom and Mom, Grandmama, Karina, Amy Poole, Allyson, Emily Graffius, and all those other moms out there! I love you!

LIQUOR...I hardly even...oh, whatever.

2008-09-24T23:13:00.008-05:00

So, here we are again. At the end of another creation. Obsessing over whether it's good enough, if the 'client' (Oh my gosh, I have a client!) will be so pleased that she'll ~~pee her pants~~ do a little dance, asking myself why I put these things off until I have to do them to remain a good seller.

In the end, I am happy with the result of my first attempt to paint on a tiny little glass. I know it could always be better, but let's face it, I'm not making a living on this...yet.

I am going to do some research on how to get the paint to go on a little more smoothly (smoother?). It may just be that I need better paints. Right now I'm working with the cheapest paints I could find...with the best brushes. It probably evens out somehow.

So, here's the shot glass. I will finish the wine glass tomorrow.

I was only using the quarter dollar, quarter, two bits, Johnson Sandwich (I still don't understand why it was called this since LBJ was never ON a quarter) for a size reference, but my husband pointed out, "Because she'll be playing Quarters with this glass." Ha ha. Funny. I wanted to use a bottle of fiery pink fingernail polish called 'Scarlet' by SinfulColors...hmmm.... Maybe we're both in the wrong. Typical.

Anyway. It was cool making it. Now on to the wine glass.... I have asked myself whether or not I should be painting glasses that will inevitably hold liquor or wine (or booze in general). I am not for or against drinking alcoholic beverages unless you are a) underage, b) don't know when to quit, or c) causing someone else to stumble (i.e. you have a friend who is a recovering alcoholic and you bust out a bottle of wine around him...not cool).

I'm serious. Don't be a jerk. Drink responsibly.

YAY! The Office is back!

2008-09-23T19:06:00.005-05:00

Oh my goodness. Ok. I do not watch much t.v. at all. When I say that, I don't mean that I watch three shows and follow E.R., Heroes, or House. No. What I mean is that I will occassionally and randomly turn the t.v. on and catch the last 10 minutes of Merv Griffin's Crossword or I will stumble across the Antique Road Show and be dumbfounded that a wooden vase shaped like a duck can be worth over $10,000. I don't even know when these shows air...I just happen upon them. That's how I watch t.v. And we don't have cable, DIRECTV, TiVo (I wish) or a HD t.v.

I'm not bragging here. I really like t.v. I'm no tree-hugger (not that I have anything against hippies) and I don't shun television. I LOVE LOVE all the Discovery Channels and could sit and watch Baby Story every day (I used to do that before Ham came along). I don't like commercials, though.

However, let's get back to the reason I am blogging about t.v. in the first place.

I DO know when The Office comes on...NBC, 8PM Central Time on Thursday nights. The new season starts this Thursday and I have asked my husband to promise me that he will be home in time to help me put Ham down to sleep so that we can watch The Office together. That's how important it is to me. To us, really.

I'm serious when I say that this show makes me laugh like no other show I've ever seen. It's stupid. It's ridiculous. There is nothing like it out there. And I love it.

Sometimes I am like Michael Scott...and that scares me, but also makes me laugh. Sometimes I am like Pam or Angela....or...ugh...yes, even Kelly (but not often).

Michael Scott says the dumbest, sometimes the most politically incorrect (OK, he ALWAYS says the most politically incorrect thing) a person can say. Yet, somehow, everyone feels bad for him. He always comes out being supported by his employees. Like when he 'outted' Oscar. Or his stupid reason to get back together with Jan and then you actually feel sorry for him when Jan uses him. (Insert 'foliage' here.)

And then of course, there is Jam. Pam and Jim.

I've gone on way too long about this, but it's the only show I have been excited about in a long time. FRIENDS doesn't even compare...and I still have fond memories of Rachel, Ross, Pheobe, Joey, Chandler and Monica.

So, my husband liked this show first...and for that reason, I gave it a shot...that and the copious amounts of pain medicine I was on, trying to recover from surgery.

Back when I thought it was another reality show (I really did thing it was a documentary), he liked it. Back when I shunned its stupidity, he encouraged me to give it a chance. He's the reason I am obsessed with it now. Thanks. No, really. Thank you. :)

It got me through 6+ months of the most excruciating pain I've ever felt (besides labor) after Ham was born. It kept me laughing when I feared the words Necrotizing Fasciitis, surgery, and more surgery. It helped me nurse Ham just one more time than I though I could bare. And now...Ham loves the intro music. She can literally sit through an entire episode of The Office and I'm in the process of weaning her. Hurray!

I don't know how I feel about that...either of those things...her liking The Office or me weaning her.

I'm telling you now...do not call on Thursday nights between 7:45 and 9:15. We will not be available to anyone...unless you are from Dunder Mifflin, The Scranton Branch.

Learning As An Artist

2008-09-22T21:15:00.007-05:00

Ten stupid things that beginner artist do:

1. Spend way too much time thinking about what to draw.
2. Spend way too much energy wanting to draw something perfect.
3. Spend way too much research on supplies you 'might' need.
4. Spend way too much money on those supplies you don't need. (But they are SOOOO cool!)
5. Not going dumpster diving before buying expensive media.
6. Trying to figure out what your medium will look like.
7. Trying to remember what 'media' and 'medium' mean and feeling like a poser because you keep getting those words mixed up.
8. Not realizing that you can use anything as a media for your art.
9. Forgetting to look around your house for things you already bought before going to buy more.
10. Not putting yourself out there.

So, yeah. I have done, or not done, all of these things. I have been addicted to gel pens, Mod Podge, went and bought more supplies before finding a treasure trove of stuff in a box, in a drawer, under some clothes, on top of my assortment of pliers.

I have drooled over rolls of duck canvas at MisterArts and fantasized about painting on old artifacts I find on eBay, when I could just use the plywood in my garage. (Right now, I'm obsessing about finding double hung, single pane, distressed wood frame windows to paint on. If you know of anyone or a place that has them-preferably, for free-then please let me know.)

Trodding on to other things I've become ~~obsessed~~ enamored with, let us add Vitamin Water. I love, love this stuff. I just found it...and yes, I know (now) that Jennifer Aniston and Kelly Clarkson have been advertising this stuff for years.

Way back when this deliciously low-sugar vitamin drink began popping up in celebrity hands, I thought it was just hype. I thought that it was just another way for actors to push the "Green Scream" and be cool. Yet, last week, I was fatigued and sore from working out, so I grabbed the Revive Vitamin Water and thought, "Oh, dang. This stuff is good." I don't know if it was the placebo phenom or if there are actually enough B vitamins in that product to give a person a boost, but I felt better after drinking it.

However, after almost two weeks of spending $1.50 on these things, I realized that they really aren't anything more than glorified soft drinks.

They still have 13 grams of sugar in them (except they call it crystalline fructose) and all these vitamins are something we get if we are eating every day anyway...which, most of us are.

It tastes good, but I think that I got punk'd.

I can't keep up!

2008-09-22T12:56:00.017-05:00

*Foreword: Those of you that receive automatic e-mail updates saying a new blog has been posted, you may not be able to see when there is a video attachment or a picture embedded in the blog. To see all content, you may need to come directly to the blog site Did I just say that? That is all, thank you. (OH, WAR EAGLE!)

So, things have been absolutely wonderful lately. Ham is just getting cuter and more entertaining (if that is possible). She plays really well by herself, but I find myself looking for excuses to watch her all day instead of doing housework or run errands. I have the heart of an organized person, and none of the skills I desperately long for to be a clone of Martha Stewart-ness. (I do not want to be Martha Stewart, however.)

I have had another order for glasses. YAY! A girl from etsy.com wants me to do a wine glass and shot glass with the pink owl on it and Chi Omega written in black on the opposite side. I'm working on that today.

Also, I have now gone to the infamous Sips-n-Strokes twice in one month. The second time we went to the Vestavia location and the painting was really difficult and took a lot of time. We also ended up moving our table halfway through the lesson because...well...because of the 'sipping' part of SipsnStrokes, some ladies get WAY too loud. So, for the second half of the night, we couldn't see what the instructor was doing at all. We were pretty frustrated. Regardless, this is how ours turned out:

This is mine:

This is my friend, Mer's:

This is what the instructor's original looked like:

We will probably stick with the Highway 280 store because we had a great experience there.

So, as you can see, no one painting is going to turn out exactly the same. I decided I wanted some blue in my background instead of all brown and white, while Meredith followed the instructor at first, she then decided she didn't want a lot of black in the background and it turned out really cool and sorta abstract. Mine is more realism...which, I wish I could get out of that stage. I'd love to do some abstract and even cartoonish-style stuff.

Anyway, here is the finish product of the wine glasses I did for my friend Ashley's Bachelorette Party two weekends ago:

That was a lot of fun and it definitely opened up some doors. However, painting glass is a lot harder than I thought it would be! I'm glad for the experience.

BTW, Ham heard a bird outside this morning and she cupped her little hand around her ear to sign 'hear.' SOOOO cute!

No teeth yet. LOL

New Discoveries Around the Corner

2008-09-20T17:18:00.008-05:00

Things have changed a bit around the Mc"Clan" household. For one, Ham is walking. Not just a few steps, but today she walked almost the span of the kitchen. Nineteen steps.

Ham began to try to walk on September 5th. That morning she took two steps (I missed them). Later that day, I was there when she took two more steps. Through the last two weeks, she has taken several more steps. On September 17th, she took the most steps I'd seen...8 steps. She took four steps, turned, and took four more. I cried.

Other new things is that Ham can now say six words...sometimes while signing them. She can say, "Ma ma, da da, pa pa, ba (ball), buh bye, and manana (banana)." She began signing "banana" three days ago when I sat her in a her highchair and was making her oatmeal. She said, "manana" and then reached for the bananas. She has been doing a weird 'more,' or 'clapping' sign and when I didn't know what it was yesterday, she crawled into the kitchen, pointed to the bananas on top of the microwave and turned to sign it to me again. I was shocked.

Life has changed. And it is good.

Sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I have been pleasantly busy with art and hanging out with my friend, Mer. It's been a long time since I've been out and about this much, but it does cut into computer time.

Here's the newest pictures of her, too.

Working out is FUN!

2008-09-10T18:00:00.003-05:00

I'm so glad that I got to workout last night with one of my closest friends in the world. I was 15 minutes late (Sophie woke up unusually late, wouldn't eat, I had trouble getting a bottle together, and then it started raining so traffic was really slow). Hey, I guess 15 minutes late isn't bad, considering. No, actually I HATE being late.

We did the Body Flow class. It's a mix of Yoga, Pilates, and Tai Chi. It's a lot of stretching and strength training. I thought my legs would give out while we were doing the lunges that go along with the Warrior positions. I have found out that I am a spazz. I have no balance what-so-ever and could not even rival the Kung Fu Panda in complete and utter spazticity (not a real word)...not to be mistaken for spasticity, which is a real disorder and I'm not mocking it.

I will be working out more in the future. Meredith, you are an inspiration! Mom, so are you! I'm proud of all you women in my life. The award for fitness and healthiness has to go to my dad and Augusta, though. They are pretty amazing.

Ham is 11 months old!

2008-09-08T15:57:00.005-05:00

YAY! Wow, Ham is almost a year old.

She has grown so much and then again, she's still just a baby.

I could have never imagined what a joy my own child would bring. I have fiercely loved my nieces and nephew with all of my heart. I would do anything for them. I would lay down my life for them. I have also loved the kids I baby-sat for in the last 10 years. I have become so attached to other people's children that I cried when I had to say good-bye.

When I look into Ham's eyes, I see my heart. I am so in love. She is the funniest, wittiest (yeah, yeah, she can't even talk, I know), most brilliant, sweetest baby ever. I love everything she does...even when she is crying or whining, I love her. Even like her a lot. I love her voice. I love everything about her squatty (my sister's coined word for Ham), chubby, silky-soft body. I love her open-mouth, a-little-too-wet-kisses. I love it when she pats me on the back while I cradle her in my arms. I love it (and it breaks my heart) when she cries out, "Ma ma ma ma," if she doesn't want to go in her crib. I love watching her discover EVERYTHING. I love discovering things all over again through her eyes.

If we have another baby, I can't even imagine loving them as much as I love her. But I know I will. My sister told me so. And she's really, really smart. She had the same thoughts, the same fear, "How can I love anyone as much as I love my first?" Then she had her little boy and she fell in love with him, too...and with her second little girl after that.

I know each parent feels the same way that I do about their children. I know that every aunt and uncle love their nieces and nephews as their own children. To all of us, however, the love for our own flesh and blood is unmatched. It is what it is.

So, anyway, we don't know what we're doing for Ham's 1st Birthday, but I'm sure it will involve family, friends, cake and ice cream, NO PRESENTS (I hope, but know she'll get some), and lots of pictures and laughs.

Here's what Ham learned to do for the first time on September 8th...her 11 month 'birthday.' (What DO you call that, anyway?)

Apple juice is of the devil

2008-09-07T19:35:00.004-05:00

OK, many people know that a few years ago I was diagnosed with some of the most common food allergies of children. (Note: people don't usually become allergic to these things later in life.)

I had something called Leaky Gut (yes, very technical) and to anything I ate regularly, or two much, I became allergic.

This is different than intolerance. Intolerance is when you just have stomach upset. When you have allergies, you actually break out in hives and itch like crazy with the joy of stomach upset, too. My friend Ginger went through this for years before she knew what was causing her hives. I can't imagine. Just several months was enough to drive me up the wall.

So, I became allergic to dairy of any kind, mint (thanks Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream), beef, black pepper, almonds, selenium (the green stuff on the skin of potatoes), and apples (I was downing jugs of apple juice a week). Even most starchy foods would send me over the edge.

At the time, I weighed 140lbs. (I am only 5', so don't knock it if you weight 140lbs or above. A healthy weight for me was 98-110lbs.) Most people say that they can't remember me ever being that big, but trust me, I was. I have the pictures to prove it.

I was miserable. Every time I ate, I would either get sick to my stomach and blow up like a balloon or break out in hives. My doctor said to lose some weight so I began exercising regularly. No change. Then I met an allergy specialists and a nutritionist and they told me about Leaky Gut. The Dr. took 6 vials of blood and told me what I was allergic to. So, I began eliminating potential trigger foods from my diet.

After a year and a half, I had dropped almost 40lbs and felt healthier than I ever had. I still couldn't eat dairy, but at least I could eat without getting sick.

In steps my love for apple juice. Apparently, I'm not so highly sensitive to it or I would have broken out in hives the last week. I drank two and a half jugs of the stuff in two weeks. Big jugs. Oh how I loved it.

Then the symptoms began. I felt nauseated. My stomach blew up...and other things. Do you remember the Colon Blow cereal commerical from Saturday Night Live? Yeah, I'd sworn I ate a whole box of it. Enough detail.

There's half a jug still left in the fridge and I don't know what to do with it. Ham doesn't like juice (which is fine with me) and I know that I can't drink it.

Anyway, I've realized that for me, apple juice is of the devil.

Bunny heads

2008-09-06T13:06:00.014-05:00

Ham has been dancing for a while now. As soon as music comes on, she will begin to wiggle herself back in forth. She will dance if you hum, she will even dance if you whistle. A few months ago, when she began standing on her own for several seconds, she noticed she could clap and dance while standing. She loves jazz, classical, pop and even some country. She doesn't seem to know what to do with rap, however...and that's just fine with me. (Although I have immensely enjoyed some clean Eminem from time to time.)

Most of what Ham does is now pretty predictable. I know that if I try to look at her 'teeth' (she has yet to have any break the surface, even if I can see them lined up on top), she will scrunch her mouth up and look like a loggerhead turtle. You know, the upper lip protruding out a little in a v-shape? See picture (courtesy of Tony Rath). She does it EVERY time. I'll have to get a picture of that soon.

However, I still say, "Open. Ahhhhhhhh. Open for Mommy." She still doesn't. I am looking for something more like this:

Cute, huh? (That's a baby loggerhead turtle.) Picture, courtesy of Save Bahimi Bay (something like that.)

Anyway, none of this is the point.

Ham has this stacking ring toy. It's really cute and waaaay overpriced, so I got it with a gift certificate. Anyway, each ring is a bunny part (bottom is the legs, middle is the tail, and top is the arms). Then there is the head...which detaches with velcro. Ham has never been that interested in it. I would try to show her how it's done, and she would just look at it and move on her merry little way.

Well, a few weeks ago, I got it out one night before she went to bed and Hubby and I started playing with her and showing it to her. We started this really sadistic game of pulling off the bunny head and screaming. It got hilarious when we would say, "NO, NO, don't pull off my head, 'Ham!' Help, help!" Then Ham would decapitate the bunny and we would scream and she would fall back on the floor giggling hyterically. Since then, now she will pull the bunny's head off herself and give this little wee scream to imitate us. Ok, yeah, we're sick.

Set of four hand-painted tumblers and pitcher

2008-09-04T19:57:00.001-05:00

OK, I must be insane, right? I am now venturing to make a set of four hand-painted owl tumblers with an iced tea pitcher included. I don't know if I want to sell this on Etsy.com or list it to win on my blog. Here is a picture of the sample owl glasses:

I would love to paint an owl on one, my giraffe on another, an elephant, and maybe a koi fish. What do you think?

Option a) All one design (with maybe the animal being different colors on each), b) all one design (with animal being one color on all), c) a series of different animals in the set, or d) do all four sets with one animal per set?

Does that make sense?

See, I get too much going at once. Don't worry though, I am going to finish my friend's wine glasses before taking on this endeavor, so it could be weeks before I get around to making the iced tea set.

Selling more art

2008-09-03T08:57:00.010-05:00

I love that my friends now know that I am back into art. For some, it's the first time they know I paint or draw. I am getting a lot of, "I didn't know you were an artist!" and I must say, there is still a twinge of guilt.

I am far from that man in the Bible who went to his master and said, "Sir, I knew that you were a hard man, harvesting where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed, so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours." No, at least this man admitted to burying his talent. Parable of the Talents

Even though he was still punished, the message I see in my case, is that I didn't even want to tell anyone that I had a buried talent! If it's hidden, no one can hold me accountable.

So, now that it's in the light (and I'm so thankful and excited about that), a friend asked me if she could pay me to paint 12 stemless wine glasses for a bachelorette party in a few weeks.

Here is my rough draft:

For this, I actually used Sakura Gelly Roll pens. I wanted to get a good idea of what it would look like and what I was aiming for with this. I don't know if I'll do the first initial of each bridesmaid or what. My friend has to OK this design. However, I am generally pleased with my first attempt. Now let's see if we can do it with enamel paints and a tiny paintbrush! I also have to write an actual saying on the glass.

This has led me to list the item (as an example) on Etsy.com and try my hand at painting glass on commission. If it gets too crazy and I get orders I can't fill, I'll just stop doing it.

I also uploaded my painting of the peacock I was working on for weeks. For your sake, I'll just put a picture of it up, here:

However, it is on sale at Etsy.com. Feel free to check it out. I also have a semi-precious bracelet I made for sale.

On a different note, same vein, my awesome sister-in-law and her husband have put up a shop on Etsy, too. They had been thinking about doing it for a while now. It's called thesmallwoods and they sell Mr. Fox Brand products. TOO cute. Here's a sampling: He is a handmade, embroidered felt plush original based on Mr. Hoot Hoot of TheSmallWoods world. Isn't he adorable? He comes in different colors, too!

That's all for now, in my world.

And a Child Shall Lead Them...

2008-09-02T13:37:00.003-05:00

Friday I got the pleasure of taking care of two boys (Tornado 4 yrs. and Little Bear 17 mos.) that I used to babysit for on a regular basis. The youngest of the boys, Little Bear, was actually born while I was still caring for Tornado and his older sister, Princess-with-a-Smidgen-of-Dirt (now 7-years-old).

The mom, Her Awesomeness, called me in the middle of the night and said, "OK, Baby is coming (They had yet to find a name for him). You ready to come over?" I was the 'go-to' girl and had agreed to come over to watch Princess-with-a-Smidgen-of-Dirt and Tornado, no matter what time of the day, when the mom, went into labor.

BTW, I walked in at midnight all frantic, concerned that it had taken me 8 minutes to get there and afraid I'd find her on the floor pushing Baby out and it'd be my fault. However, Her Awesomeness, smiled and ushered me in the door while she was having a contraction. That kind of calmness happened for the next 30 minutes while her husband got things all packed and ready. She'd be talking and say, "Oh, hold on," walk over to a piece of paper and right down the time and duration of the contraction, and then say, "ooo, that was a strong one. OK, anyway, I was saying...." CA-RAZY! Make a note, that I was 3 months pregnant at the time and thought, "Man, labor's not so bad!" HAHAHAHAHAHA

So, anyway. Her Awesomeness asked me if I'd come to the rescue once again and keep the boys before MDO started this week. Of course, I said, "YES!" right away. (I am very naïve and will jump at taking care of kids...no matter how many.) She asked me if I need to pray about...insisted actually, but I knew my answer would still be 'yes.' I didn't know what it would be like with two babies (one walking, one crawling) under the age of two and one very energetic little boy.

So, I headed off to her house at 8:00AM after a 7 o'clock appt. with the chiropractor...I'm naïve, but not stupid! Of course, this meant that Ham had been up since 6:45AM. That's really early for her. By the time we got done at the chiro. she was ready to go to sleep. However, once we got to Her Awesomeness's house, Ham was excited and wanted to play.

Within an hour of Her Awesomeness leaving me with Tornado and LB, my chest began to tighten. LB could not contain his love for Ham and was tackling her every chance he got. Ham would crawl about two feet and LB'd be crawling right behind her and then tackle her legs in a bear hug. Ham would lay there, immobilized, arms splayed out and probably staying as quiet as possible to make LB think she was dead. It didn't work...he only tightened his grip and then Ham would let out a whimper.

This went on all day. Poor Ham. She was no worse for the wear, but she was exhausted from playing 'dead' all day.

Anyway, when it was time for Tornado and LB to take a nap, I put LB down and Ham and I went to read Tornado a story. I asked Tornado to pick out a book and at first, he wanted his Bedtime Bible stories. But then, he said, "No, no. I want this one. This is the Bible." Before handing me his Bible, which was a pocket-sized one with the tiny writing, he said, "Here I'll pick out a story. Please read this one." Tornado was instantly transformed to I'm-the-Calmest-Boy-Ever.

When I looked at the story he was pointing to, I almost said, "Let's read a different one," but decided, it's the Bible. It's really OK to read the Bible. :) It was the story of Pontius Pilate sentencing Jesus to be crucified. As I began telling how the Jews were yelling, "Crucify!" I'm-the-Calmest-Boy-Ever (a.k.a. Tornado) said, "I know what happens." I asked, "Yeah?" He said, "Yes. They take him up a mountain, to a cross, and these soldiers play a GAME to see who gets Jesus' clothes and then Jesus DIES." I was astounded. I said, "Yes, you're right, baby. And Jesus forgives them." He nodded and said, "I know dat. And he came back to life in just two days." I said, "Three days." He said, "I know dat." :)

As I laid him down and covered him up, holding Ham in my left arm, I wanted to weep. How incredible. He gets it. At least, he knows it to the extent that a four-year-old can. And he is not questioning it to be true. To him, it's fact. It's not a fable or a story of a good teacher. It's Jesus, the Son of God. Who died for us because we need him. We do things like gambling for a dying man's clothes. We're mean sometimes. And Jesus wasn't like that. He was always good. Tornado knew that it was preposterous that Jesus 'DIED' while men mocked him.

I love children.

Craig's List and Black Widow Spiders

2008-08-29T02:52:00.000-05:00

Wednesday I took on a new venture. Mine started off as the 'uncertain outcome' kind. However, it turned out to be, "An undertaking that is dangerous, daring, or of uncertain outcome. A business enterprise involving some risk in expectation of gain," as well.

What could I do that was so dangerous, you ask? Well, I decided to sell some things on Craig's List. OK, 'decided' is a loose word for what I was trying to do.... Just hear me out.

First, a little background for you: Husband and I went through FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY several years ago to help us not only get out of debt, but to attack the root of why were were in debt in the first place. (Well, I can tell you that! All you have to do is max out (my bad) 13 department store credit cards while making about $400 a month. Seriously, I was am an impulse buyer...still am at times.) I did this before we were married.

This $100 Financial Peace program we did at our church really tackles the habits people create and myths people buy into concerning money. Financial peace is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. That is so true, because most of what we learned we knew, but didn't have the personal skills to execute it.

We paid off about $4700 in the 13 weeks we were attending the class. Now that's REAL peace-giving! Besides, the class was so much fun! Dave Ramsey is hysterical and I really felt proud of myself rather than condemned. We had finished paying off all of our credit card debt in 4 more months (about $15,000 in 7 months). We were ecstatic...and still married (an important fact)!

So, now we're on the cash-flow (notice I refuse to say 'budget') system where you take out an allotted amount of money at the beginning of the month and put it in corresponding envelopes (i.e. $200 for Groceries, $30 for Cosmetics, $20 for Toiletries, $30 in individual Blow money (spend on whatever you want) , etc.)

Well, we are still trying to get the grocery envelope figured out now that Ham is eating more solids and prices have sky-rocketed. Here's where ~~pawning~~ selling stuff comes in for me.

I had finished off all the money in the grocery envelope the week before. Well, we still needed bread, milk, Gerber Graduates meals, and eggs. Basic stuff. So, I had a dilemma, right?

I got my wheels turning and began thinking about how to make some extra money. (BTW, this is cheating on the envelope system. It's supposed to be that when you run out of money, you're out. And no 'borrowing' from other envelopes. It creates accountability.) The up side is that we need to talk about putting a little more money in the Grocery envelope next time so this doesn't happen again.

ANYWAY, I thought about this Dogloo dog house the previous home owners left two years ago that's just been sitting in our back yard. It was in perfect condition, but just dirty (I had no idea). I went online and researched the price of these things. OK, for a large one like we had? Over $100. Sometimes more. So, I listed it for $50. I didn't really know if anyone would buy it, but hey, worth a shot, right?

Within 45 minutes, I received an e-mail asking if the Dogloo was still for sale. STILL? I had barely enough time to get ready for the day after I had listed the thing! I'm not complaining. I was elated. She said she didn't want to pay $50, though. I asked her how much. She said $35. I asked, "If I cleaned it really well, would you pay $50?" Ahh, just what she wanted to hear. It was sold in under an hour.

Unfortunately, this was also the day I had a doctor's appointment with a new doctor and it took 2 hours! Ham and I got back with only an hour to spare before the lady was going to show up. Ham was asleep in the car, so I left it running with the A/C on (haha...inside joke) and after detaching the base, proceeded to roll this MASSIVE and heavy thing out of the backyard and into the driveway.

Here I am, rolling it, and every time I can see inside, I think,
"Was that..." roll, "Did I just see..." roll, "OK...great."

Halfway, I realized there were spiders inside the dog house. Lots of them. I gingerly finished rolling it and then turned it over to look inside. My stomach kind of knotted up. I counted eight spiders. Not to mention the 4 inch long, 1/2 inch wide millipede...I'm not kidding. GAAA-ROSS! (That's Southern-speak for 'gross.')

The reason my stomach knotted up was because I thought the spiders looked familiar, but I had never seen one in person. I went inside and looked up 'poisonous spiders' and yep...they were black widows. Eight of 'em.

I debated on whether or not to finish the job, but I bucked up, rolled up my sleeves, and grabbed three different bottles of cleanser.

The Mister Clean just made them mad. The Scrubbing Bubbles didn't phase them...they would just crawl lazily out of the foam. However, the Fantastik w/ Oxy Power did the job...sorta. They were at least immobilized.

I then stood back and blasted them with the hose. It took thirty minutes to get those suckers to stop clinging to the side or racing back up to the top when they would break free from the streaming water. I finally had to get a sponge and wipe out the webs. They were really strong!

After all was said and done (Ham woke up crying just as I finished), the Dogloo looked like new and I thought, "This was SOOO not worth $50. I should have asked for $75." ;) I mean, I could have been killed! Next time, I'll sell it 'as-is' and not run out of money in the Grocery envelope!

Well...I couldn't have let someone ride home with a dog house full of Black Widows, right?

BTW, yes, I did frantically change out of my wet and sudsy jeans, brush my hair a million times (and wash it) and continue to swipe at my skin the rest of the day thinking there might be a spider on me!

Am I a Redneck?

2008-08-26T18:55:00.000-05:00

My husband posed a question to me that I really hadn't thought of and I guess I have tried to ignore ever since he asked it.

Ham often crawls around in a diaper. Just a diaper.

And she never wears shoes (I have been told by the pediatrician and my chiropractor that it's best not to put babies in hard-soled shoes). That may be why she has excellent balance and can stand while clapping or 'dancing' without holding onto anything.

So, the other day, Genius asked me how many parents we knew that probably let their babies crawl around in just a diaper. My reply, "I dunno."

He mentioned one of my friends in particular who has quite a bit of style and has grown up with quite a bit of money. He said that he couldn't imagine her letting her baby go all day (around the house) in a diaper. He wasn't trying to knock me...I don't think...or her...I'm sure of that...but he was "just wondering."

This is the thing. Ham HATES clothing. I think she would even rip her diaper off if she could figure out the Velcro and something tells me that she isn't far from learning how to do that.

She also hates shoes (I've tried putting some cute little soft-soled shoes on her).

However, she acts like she doesn't even know how to crawl when she has shoes on.

It's like when you put clothes on a cat. They just lay there like they've gone catatonic....

OK, I didn't even mean to do that!

Cat-a-tonic.

Pure GENIUS!

So, I don't make her wear clothes if she doesn't have to, right? I don't make her wear cutesy shoes, so what? I mean, it's been a blazing 90-something degrees for a while now (not counting the unnaturally cool nights we've had lately thanks to El Nino).

Does my half-naked baby mean that we are rednecks?

I don't cart her around like that outdoors! Uhh...I mean.

Do you notice that I also let my child eat dirt and leaves?

Well, it was hot these days!

If anything, I go TOO far when we go out to run errands.

Dress, check. Diaper cover (I prefer to call them 'bloomers'), check. Bow in her sparse hair, check. What else is there? A purse? Lipstick? Glitter fingernail polish? Diamond earrings? BLLLLEEEECCCKKKK! No thanks. She doesn't even get to take her lovey with her!

I'm such a meanie.

Besides, I love looking at her, count 'em, FOUR rolls that get hidden by clothes she doesn't even like. If I'm a Redneck, then I guess I'll just have to live with it.

However, I will say that this is totally unnecessary exposure. This was at our Family Reunion. Usually at least 10 people are around at any given time.

I'm an artist...it's OFFICIAL!

2008-08-25T16:30:00.000-05:00

Ha! What do you do when after more than 20 years of drawing, coloring, sketching, and painting, you sell a painting the second time you try?

Apparently, you go bananas! At least, that's what I did.

I had written here that I put a piece of artwork up for sale on Etsy.com on August 12th. It sold today! For $75! To someone in California! SOOOOOO cool!

I am so shocked. I really didn't think that it would ever sell. Or at least, I thought it would be up for sale for so long that I would forget I listed it and then someone would buy it in a few years and I'd be like, "What in the world? When did I do that? And more importantly, I hope I didn't throw that away!"

I can't believe that this was only up for 13 days. That's less than two weeks. I just can't believe it. I guess I have to stop lying to myself now and put myself out there more.

I don't know what to do with this information. It makes me want to create more art. Not necessarily to sell, although I will continue to try, but just because it makes me happy.

Sister's Birthday

2008-08-25T12:53:00.000-05:00

My sister is the best! Her birthday was on Sunday. I wanted to give a shout out to her because I love her so much.

Reasons I have the best sister in the world:

She is always honest.
She is always sincere.
She gives the best advice.
She is hysterical.
Even though she lived through exactly what I did, she maintained so much integrity and didn't get into half of the stuff I did.
She is such a great mother to her three beautiful children.
She loves her husband with deep passion.
She supports those around her with unabashed love.
When she commits to something, she goes all-out.
She has always cheered me on with my art and writing.
She cared enough about me to witness to me even though I didn't want to hear it.
She was the reason I heard about Christ's love on a daily basis when I was at the end of my rope.
She has always told me (and been right) to stay away from certain boys.
She has an incredible voice and she's the only singer that can make me cry.
She and her husband are doing the hard thing of getting out of debt and doing a great job!
She knows what is important in life.
She's my sister!

I love you my Big Sis!

BTW, I don't know how it happened, but I am really sorry that the cake was chocolate and the icing was kinda like the whipped icing. It was supposed to be yellow or white cake with REAL chocolate or white icing.

Clone Wars

2008-08-25T10:38:00.001-05:00

Coming Soon to T.V.

Clone Wars

2008-08-25T10:29:00.000-05:00

This weekend was very relaxing. We went to go see Clone Wars this past Friday and it was good. A little more ~~ridiculous~~ fluffy than I expected. However, as Genius pointed out, it is George Lucas. He's right. What can we expect? This is the man responsible for directing Star Wars I & II (the story of Anakin Skywalker as a little boy and early padawan). However, III Revenge of the Sith, was actually a very strong movie and more intense. Lucas did an outstanding job on that one.

OK, of course this is probably making me look like a big dork for knowing any of this, so how can I judge George Lucas? He's a billion times richer than me and obviously knows what he's doing!

So, this animated feature is the second installment of what will now be continued on t.v. I am kinda bummed that we don't have cable because I really would watch this. I had fun watching the first Hannah Barbera-ish Clone Wars cartoon which came out on t.v. before Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones, came out at theaters. The animation is definitely better in this new one and it is supposed to tell the story of what happens between Star Wars II and Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith.

I'm excited to see the final results.

CLONE WARS

No, no. I'm the worst mother ever!

2008-08-22T06:56:00.000-05:00

You hear it from every mom at one point or another...
"I'm the worst mother in the world!"

We really do believe it...even if we are secretly hoping someone will say, "Oh gosh, no you're not! You're a ___________"(insert: Goddess, Saint, Powerhouse, Queen of Clean, Mrs. Wonderful, Mother Teresa of Mommyhood, My idol, A Dream Come True to any child, etc.) BTW, I like all of those, thank you.

However, all moms, dads, aunts, uncles, Grammies, etc. have moments when they do things that truly and accidentally endanger a child's life, realize they can't be everywhere at once when something dreadful happens, or do something really stupid.

I'm on the latter end today.

So, Ham has fallen off of our bed twice in a week and a half. The first time was pure stupidity. I needed Genius' help on something and went back to the bedroom to enlist him. Ham was in bed with him, playing, and what do we do? We BOTH leave the room to go figure out the ~~all-important~~ so-important-I-can't-even-remember-what-it-was thing and leave Ham on the bed. TOTALLY NOT THINKING!

Half way down the hall, we hear a thud and a whimper. Then a full-on cry. I raced back down the hallway....

(I make our hall sound like the one from The Shining.)

Really, it's only about like this:

ANYWAY! I hustled into our bedroom and couldn't see Ham anywhere. I then heard her whimper again and went around to my side of the bed...and almost laughed. There she was, in the midst of two pillows, laying in that awkward position where you are trying to sit up, but can't because whatever your sitting on is too soft...or face it, you've gained too much weight and can't get your fat patootie up.

I cried, "Oh baby!" Mistake. She began crying again and I felt horrible. I lifted her up and cuddled her. It took 10 seconds for her to get over it. At that moment, I was so glad I had thrown the pillows off the bed that morning. I'll bet $100 that she fell off trying to reach anything and everything on my nightstand.

My Genius husband's reaction? "Why did you leave her? I thought you knew she was on the bed!" Come on...of course I knew, but that doesn't mean my brain translates everything into readable code as fast as his computer processor! I was gracious enough not to remind him of the time he pinched Ham's arm in the highchair and gave her a nasty blood clot.

So, the other time she fell off the bed, I was right there. Not helping my case, you say?

She was near the edge of the bed on hubby's side and sat up with her back to the chasm that is our bedroom floor. She just disappeared off the side, with me grabbing at nothing but air. When I peered over the side (she wasn't crying yet) her legs were up against the side and...oh, here. I'll just sketch it out because I can't describe it.

She whimpered a little bit and then she was done.
I was SO glad that she didn't get hurt. (Our bed isn't that far off the ground.) Of course, I picked her up and cuddled her. She lasted 5 seconds and then she pushed me away and wanted to play again.

I hope it's pointless to say that we watch her a lot closer now. We do. I promise.

So, this is my argument of why I am the worst mommy ever, right? NOPE.

The reason I am the worst mommy is because last night, I grilled chicken, steamed veggies and made my absolutely yummy, creamiest mashed potatoes. I though Ham would enjoy a bite of this delicious, buttery (OK, margariney) goodness. I had sampled it several times. I had tested the surface of the serving I was about to give her too see if it was hot...it wasn't. However, when she bit into the piece of potato I didn't know was in there, it was piping hot. It was AWFUL! She wouldn't even drink the cold water I was trying to give her. I can't even write any more about it. That's how bad it was.

You know what Genius said this time? "That wasn't nearly as bad as when I pinched her arm with the highchair tray."

God love him.

Michael Phelps at a Young Age

2008-08-21T17:58:00.000-05:00

This was sent to me by my friend Meredith. I just about blew apple juice out of my nose and I DEFINITELY woke up Ham! Thank you MER!!! LOL. I needed that!

Whoever thought of this and made it up is hilarious. It's all over the Internet, but I can't find the original artist. Ah, well.

2008-08-21T08:24:00.000-05:00

Wow, I read this amazing blog called Because I Said So and this momma of six ~~kids~~ wild gibbons is HILARIOUS! (BTW, she is the one that calls them 'gibbons,' I would never say that about someone else's kids.)

Seriously, she's a hoot...and I don't go around recommending blogs. If I ever have a 'bad' day with Ham, all I have to do is read her blog and know that what I am going through is normal and right now, I only have one gibbon.

I really want to do something about my lack of organization (don't we all?). My husband is a perfectionist and I am the opposite...what is that...oh yeah, apathetic. However, there is still clutter everywhere. It's not just mine, either. Mine is like an art store or consignment store threw up in various parts of our house. Genius' clutter is mostly papers. I keep thinking that I will take pictures of all these clothes to sell on eBay or take them to a consignment place, but it doesn't happen. Why? Because 1)I can't ever find time to list things anymore and 2)it's the inevitable What if's? that keep all that junk here.

What if we have another girl...in the same season?

What if someone we know has a girl...in the same season...and is the same size as Ham?

What if I am a size 4, 6, 8, 10, or 12 one day again?

What if something really valuable accidentally got thrown in the lot?

What if I could make a quilt for Ham one day out of her old clothes? HAHA

Anyway, I would love to go to that organizer store and get a new closet built, but we don't even have a place to put a new closet! Our closets are tiny and we don't have much storage space. Now, we have an unfinished basement that is literally the length of our house and that should be enough space, right? It is, but that's pretty cluttered, too. Not in a dirty sense, but in a "here are the moving boxes we used 2 years ago," "here are all the boxes that all our appliances, gadgets, baby items, etc. came in," "here is all the stuff we don't know what to do with," "here are some of my art supplies and makeshift desk I made."

I wish I could be one of those people that have shelves with labeled boxes and everything all tidy. Those great steel shelves cost MONEY though and I don't want to do it by myself, either. The most organized I've been is when I numbered all of my acrylic paint bottles (about 60 of them), put them in an old boot box and typed up a sheet with all the colors and numbers of the paints. Ham got into it once and I haven't reorganized it since. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I keep thinking, if someone just came to watched Ham for a day or two, I could organize my entire house, bring everything to a consignment shop or give it away, list some stuff on eBay, make the jewelry I want to make, finish gifts for people, yadda, yadda, yadda. It would take more than that. And Ham does sleep for about four hours in the day between two naps. It's not like I can't do some stuff then. However, when she's asleep, I'm so scared any noise will wake her that I end up just reading or going online.

Too many candles burning

2008-08-20T17:46:00.000-05:00

So, when you are an 'artist,' it is completely possible to have too many things going at once and never finish a thing. I am one of those people. I have many lofty goals...scrapbooking, cameo making, painting, stamping, jewelry antiquing, mural painting, and printmaking...to name a few.

I have never enjoyed my ADD when it comes to getting things organized. I go from one project to another without completing my first goal.

For instance. You know the Owl in the Sky with Diamonds? Well, it is supposed to be the first in a series of paintings. I was going to do another painting that features the little purple house that is in the background of the owl piece. I was going to paint the outside of the house and 'tell' the story of who lives there...a ninja panda trying to learn the art of throwing stars (cliche, maybe). Then I was going to go inside the house and paint what the inside looks like (complete with the owl tree in the background, of course).

Have I even started on the next painting? No. Instead, I got intrigued by trying to paint a peacock (not an easy task) and that has taken WEEKS.

Then, I found this rubber pad and cutting tools that I had gotten a few months back and began my first attempt at making a stamp...totally forgetting about the painting projects.

Does anyone else do this?

The Zoo

2008-08-20T14:15:00.000-05:00

I went to the zoo with my sister yesterday and it was a blast. I still can't get over the fact that I can hang out with my sister any time I want. For the last eight years, I have kept myself silent about wanting my sister and her family to move to Birmingham, but it wasn't until this year that God finally moved them back...to stay...I hope. :)

Anyway, it was my sister, her 2 year-old (A), a little girl (B) she is keeping a few days a week, Ham and me. My sister's 2 year-old truly believes she knows what's best for Ham. She will feed her (sometimes forcibly), give her a sippy cup and push her stroller like a champ. Sometimes, the outcome is pretty funny. Sometimes, we have to intervene.

One funny moment was when we were in the monkey house (appropriate, no?) and little "A" went over to Ham, shoved Ham's sippy cup in her mouth and said, "Here." Before Ham could take a sip, "A" had taken it away and said, "OK, you're done." Things like this go on non-stop when these two are together. Thankfully, Ham was too tired to protest anything that was done to her. She was a dream. She was up at 8 and didn't go down for a nap until 1PM. I was really surprised. If she was at home, she'd be pitching a royal fit. Not that I would blame her. Five hours is a long time for a 10-mos-old to be up.

The zoo is OK. I mean, they have just about anything you could want to look at. However, we haven't seen the elephants, rhinos, or hippos in a while. Also, I wish they would do something about habitats always being 'under construction' or 'renovated.' Thank goodness the zoo doesn't charge me for Ham, but when we go, we'd like to at least see a bear or two. That's another animal I haven't seen in at least two years at the zoo.

We actually made it on time to see the seals being fed. OK, one seal being fed and doing tricks, the other seal was laying in the sun and I swear it didn't move the entire time. I really thought something was wrong with it or that it was dead. I hate to say that, but seriously, the seal didn't move at all that I could see.

It was a cute show. The seal reminded me of a big, water-drenched dog.... Without big ears. Or paws. Or a tail. OK, so they aren't much like dogs, but the do bark!!

W/out our Internet for a week!

2008-08-06T13:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it's been too long since I've written. I hate when I go this long because then you feel like you have to cover everything to play catch-up. I'm not going to do that. I'll just tell you some basics and then get on with it.

I have created two new pieces of art. One of which is Here:

I created an etsy.com account McTigerlily and am going to list this piece at a rather high price because, let's face it, when we create something we like, most of the time, we don't want it to sell. Perhaps I should be embarrassed for the price. However, I will say that I used some rather 'different,' luxurious materials to make it more interesting.

The stars are made out of Aurora Borealis Swarovski crystals and the eggs are six white freshwater pearls. I even calculated how much those embellishments would cost on their own and it was around $10. So, add a few dollars for the vintage wooden knobs for apples and the labor of love and I think $60ish isn't that bad of a price. However, it's only like, 7x6." It may sell one day, it may not. That's OK.

I've been doing some really fun stuff, creatively. I have made a few stamps. One is a little bird sitting on a vine and the other is my signature faerie that I've been drawing since I was 13 years-old. I'll have to post pictures of those later because our Internet is down and I'm having to use a wireless connection and I can't get on my computer to download the images.

That's been rough. It sucks to be looking at your computer, thinking of all the places you want to surf and all the important things you want to do like ~~playing free poker~~ advancing your career as an artist and not be able to do anything about it at the moment.

It's amazing how much we rely on the Internet(s) these days. We've tapped into an unsecured wireless connection from a neighbor (not illegal, btw...I don't think) and it's a pretty weak signal, but strong enough to get online every now and then. I find myself looking at the bars saying, "Come on, baby. Come on. YES!! Three bars! Connect, connect!" Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

On a different note, Ham is teething. I really, really, think she's teething this time. LOL. She has been chewing on things since she was 3 months old and we have had some false alarms, but now she really does have ALL the signs. She is drooling like CRAZY. I'm not talking a little spit on a block she's devouring, OH NO! I'm talking, when she's crawling from Point A to Point B, drool pours out of her mouth. She seems pretty surprised by it sometimes. That's the price of teething a little later than most babies.

Another thing is that this morning she began sneezing a lot. Her nose is runny (oh joy) and that is another sign. The last sign is not so lovely...as if the others are.... It's the other runny end that is getting to me.

BTW, why is it like that? I mean, the kid is going to be in at least some discomfort already with the teeth busting through tender gums, so why do we now have to treat chaffed skin on her butt, nose, and chin because of all the runny, sloppy, icky stuff that comes along with teething? Poor girl.

Welp, I have a lot to blog, but I'll start another post later. I don't want this one to be too random.

Did I Say That?

I'm so very sad

AMMENDMENT: TO TRAIN UP A CHILD Part Deux

To Train Up a Child

Why Quality Over Quantity?

"Wordless" Wednesday is Back!

Mountian Top Experiences

TA DA!

You Know Your Child's Father is a Programmer When...

I See...Birds

When Doctrine Gets Dirty

Peter Pan

Paper Dolls and other activities

It'll be so boring without it!

Sinking Sand

Divine Intervention

A new day

OK, I changed it this time

Here is the chat I was having with Sarah Cook. :) I only captured the tail end....har har.

Amy

4:04pmSarah

4:04pmAmy

4:06pmSarah

4:06pmAmy

4:06pmSarah

4:06pmAmy

4:07pmSarah

sighI'm only like this when I'm excited.

This next one is in response to Sarah saying it's not morning anymore...

Melissa

we can always hope.

Amy

We'll, we can pretend.

Melissa

3:38pmAmy

3:38pmMelissa

3:38pmAmy

3:39pmMelissa

3:39pmAmy

Another day...another smile

Did you ever have a time....

Oi? You been on 'oliday?

Working for love

Life is so creative

Help! My daughter's turned into a parrot!

Ehhhhh....

Jim Shore and Disney

Tagged

"Wordless" Wednesday

If you're into that sort of thing...

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

Guess who's using the potty???

A Tribute...Wordless Wednesday

Just Found Out That I Got Tagged...

When Can I Proclaim "Genius in the Hiz-ouse?!"

Heavy Heart

Sign Language vs. Talking

Humble Beginnings and an Anniversary

Turning a corner

Ham in a costume contest

Fall Festivals/Halloween parties

The Morning of the Party

Ham's Birthday Party

The Eve of THE Party

Wanna do shots? Oh, wait...NOOOOO!

Happy 1st Birthday, Ham!

Blinded by the light

Sick, but not tired.

LIQUOR...I hardly even...oh, whatever.

YAY! The Office is back!

Learning As An Artist

I can't keep up!

New Discoveries Around the Corner

Working out is FUN!

Ham is 11 months old!

Apple juice is of the devil

Bunny heads

Set of four hand-painted tumblers and pitcher

Selling more art

And a Child Shall Lead Them...

sigh
I'm only like this when I'm excited.